Three calls, three aunts, same day.
A1: Leila?????OMG!!!! How are you?
Moi: Good, good and you?
A1: Hamdellah…we thank God…What’s new with you?
Moi: Nothing really, the same old thing….
A1: Really? Nothing? …No baby on the way??
A1: Why not?
Moi: No reason.
A1: Well what are you waiting for?
Moi: I’m not..uhh..…so how are your kids?
A1: La, leila you should have some kids…you’ll need them when you get old.
Moi: Well I don’t want to have kids just so I can use them when I am old and sick.
A1 : What time is it there?
Moi: 7 a.m
A1: 7 a.m? Really???It’s 1 p.m here!! We ate and I am getting ready to take a nap…7 a.m heih..are you going back to sleep after you talk to me?
Moi: No, I am working…
A1: You have to mop?
Moi: No I work from home.
A1: So you are at work?
Moi: No I work from home. On the computer.
A1 : Oh, so who are you voting for?
Moi: I’m not sure yet…who would you like me to vote for?
Moi: Why Obama?
A1: Because he’s from Africa and he’s Muslim.
Moi: He’s not Muslim actually.
A1: They said he’s Muslim.
Moi: They who???
A1: Where is your husband?
Moi: He went to work.
A1: So you’re alone?
A1: Is he good to you?
Moi: Yes, very good.
A1: You get along?
Moi: Yes, very much
A1: Rebi yahdi (May God show him the right path)….Why don't you ask your husband to convert to Islam? You'll both go to heaven…lucky for you…
Moi: Why lucky me?…You're going to heaven yourself with all your prayers.
A1: I can’t guarantee it…I could go to hell as well.
Moi: Why you haven’t killed anybody?
A1: Its all in his hands.
Moi: Oh please…you'll be fine
A1: You'll go for sure if you convert your husband.
Moi: Even if I kill somebody?
A1: Even if you kill somebody… defensively.
Moi: How about for stealing?
A1: Just convert him and your place in heaven will be waiting for you both.
Moi: I don't want to impose anything on him…Muslims, Christians… whatever…what's the difference…they all believe in God…what's the big deal.
A1: No it's not the same….Look at what the cartoonists did.
Moi: The cartoonists?? I don't understand the connection! They don't represent a whole religion.
A1: Their country supported them saying it's freedom of speech.
Moi: Well you can't burn cars and embassies because somebody says or draws something that offends you.
A1: They're just protecting the prophet.
Moi: The prophet doesn't need protection.
A1: Well, they should make an example of him.
Moi: Him who?
A1: The cartoonist.
Moi: What time is it there?
Moi: Hi,It’s Leila
Moi: How are you?
A3: Good, how are you sweetie?
Moi: Very good and you?
A3: I am good. Nothing new?
Moi: Really, nothing much has happened since I last talked to you.
A3: Nothing ….like nothing?
A3: Come on …you don’t have babies yet?
A3: Really ? Come on tell me the truth.
Moi: Yea really…why would I hide such a thing?
A3: Oh please tell me the truth.
Moi: Ok I am pregnant with a pig.
A3: Don’t say that..its bad luck.
Moi: Well then stop it. I am not pregnant and I am not hiding any babies from you.
A3: What did you have for lunch?
Moi: I am not having lunch yet…it’s early for lunch
A3: What time is it there?
A3: 11 am??Really? It’s 5 p.m here…so what are you going to cook for lunch?
Moi: I am working from home so I am not going to make a feast. I’ll just have some soup.
A3: You’re on a diet?
Moi: No, I love soups in the winter and that’s what I have ready so…
A3: Do you cook everyday?
Moi: It depends, not like you do..
A3: I know, I heard Oprah say ‘How can you cook so much’. What are you going to cook for dinner?
Moi: I don’t know.
A3: Do you have a maid?
Moi: No, its too expensive here for that and I work from home anyway, so I don’t need one.
A3: Your cleaning now?
Moi: No, I’m working on the computer.
Moi: Hi Mama, Its Leila I miss you.
A2: HEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey Leilouta my sweetheart. I saw that you called me earlier….sorry I missed you, I was praying.
Moi: No problem, what’s new ??
A2: Nothing….nothing changes at all here… people get older, that’s it!! How about you?...Any babies yet
A2: Why not?
Moi: I don’t know…I will let you know when I do.
A2: You should have some now so they grow old with you..What are you waiting for? You don’t want to have them in your fifties.
A2: So what’s the problem? You don’t want kids or you can’t have them?
Moi: Could you be a little more direct?
A2: So …you don’t want kids or you cant have them?
Moi: OMG… You’ll be the first to know!!
A2: What time is it there?
Moi: 3 p.m
A2: 3pm? Really?It’s 9 p.m here.
Moi: Yea there is a 6 hour difference.
A2: What did you have for lunch?
A2: Soup, that’s it? You don’t cook?
Moi: Yea I do, but not all day long. I’m working.
A2: Oh your at work?
Moi: No, I’m working from home.
A2: Cleaning the house?
Moi: No, the computer.
A2: So your not cooking?
Moi: Not right now.
A2: Oh yea ….Americans go to restaurants all the time