Happy Eid El Kbir

We used to buy our sheep a week before the Eid El Kbir. My brothers and I would play with him and watch him eat. After a few years I stopped spending time with the sheep and refused to take care of him. I didn’t even want to see him alive. I refused because I knew what his fate would be a few days later. His head would be cut off on the same spot where we played with him and fed him. I love animals and didn’t want to get used to one, and then eat his meat.

Unfortunately, I witnessed the killing of the sheep one year. I must’ve been 6 of 7 years old. A man came to our house early in the morning to cut its head off. I remember the head dropping on the grass and the body jerking around. It scared me to death and for years after that I refused to go downstairs or near the backyard until many hours after the butcher had left.
Once I heard that the butcher was at our home to do his job I would go to the farthest room in the house from the backyard, lock myself in, and press my hands against my ears. I didn’t want to hear my brothers, father, and the rest of the family talking about the lamb or if he was killed yet or not. I didn’t want to hear any of the sounds coming from the backyard. I felt so bad for the sheep.
I would sit in that room and wonder why we were killing an animal in our yard to celebrate the fact that a prophet was willing to sacrifice his own child to God. I imagined myself being held down and my father coming toward me to sacrifice me. At that moment I was almost relieved that the sheep was in the yard to take my place.While I was concentrating on these deep theological fantasies the headless body of the sheep was hanging from the railing on our back porch.

After the blood drained the men would skin it and the women would start cleaning the intestines and making sausages. The head was burned to remove the hair then put in a pot to cook. The smell filled up the whole house and was unbearable. Finally, my father would make me come down to eat. We would grill some cutlets with spices and eat it right away. I have to admit that I loved the meat. It was delicious, but I still felt guilty eating it. I couldn’t help but picture the living sheep walking in our garden. The other women spent the rest of the day cleaning and preparing the food and we gave a large portion of the sheep to a poor neighbor.

Happy Eid!