Lunch Break

I called my aunt last Monday.

Aunt,"Anything new?"
Moi,"No, everything’s the same."
Aunt,"Yea right, come on.. nothing? Nothing at all?"
Moi,"No, nothing really."
Aunt,"Are you pregnant yet?"
Moi,"No"
Aunt,"What are you waiting for?"
Moi,"huh...I am not pregnant "
Aunt,"Why don't you get pregnant?"
Moi,"Stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Aunt,"Your using contraception then?"
Moi,"This is too weird. I am uncomfortable talking to you about my sex life aaaaah ...."
Aunt,"Where are you? At home or at work?"
Moi,"I am working from home today."
Aunt,"What?!! Working from home??!! You must be pregnant then."
Moi,"Ok I am pregant."
Aunt,"Really?"
Moi,"Yes."
Aunt,"No, you're not"
Moi," Ok, I am not."
Aunt,"No, really...are you pregnant?"
Moi,"NO I AM NOT."
Aunt,"Yes you are."
Moi," Ok I am then."
Aunt," You are really?"
Moi,"NOOO."
Aunt," Why not, what are you waiting for. They'll take care of you when you get older."
Moi," Ok I will work on it just for you."
Aunt,"Where is your husband? Is he sleeping?”
Moi,"No, he is at work."
Aunt,"How is he treating you? Is he making you miserable?"
Moi," No, not at all. We get along very well."
Aunt,"What time is it there?”
Moi,"10a.m"
Aunt,"10a.m?Really? It’s 4p.m. here. What are you having for lunch?”
Moi,"I don't know yet."
Aunt," Aren't you going to cook?"
Moi," I don't know yet."
Aunt,"Ok, so you're working from home and it is 10a.m and you're too lazy to make lunch. You must be pregnant."
Moi,"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah I am not pregnant!”
Aunt, “ You better get started. If you get too old you might not be able to.”
Moi,”Then I could adopt.”
Aunt,"OH NO adoption is Haram."
Moi,"Why?"
Aunt,"Because an adopted child could marry a sibling."
Moi, “I have to go make lunch now.”