Leilouta

What Time is it There?

2008-02-29T21:26:00.004-05:00

Three calls, three aunts, same day.

A1: Leila?????OMG!!!! How are you?
Moi: Good, good and you?
A1: Hamdellah…we thank God…What’s new with you?
Moi: Nothing really, the same old thing….
A1: Really? Nothing? …No baby on the way??
Moi: No.
A1: Why not?
Moi: No reason.
A1: Well what are you waiting for?
Moi: I’m not..uhh..…so how are your kids?
A1: La, leila you should have some kids…you’ll need them when you get old.
Moi: Well I don’t want to have kids just so I can use them when I am old and sick.
A1 : What time is it there?
Moi: 7 a.m
A1: 7 a.m? Really???It’s 1 p.m here!! We ate and I am getting ready to take a nap…7 a.m heih..are you going back to sleep after you talk to me?
Moi: No, I am working…
A1: You have to mop?
Moi: No I work from home.
A1: So you are at work?
Moi: No I work from home. On the computer.
A1 : Oh, so who are you voting for?
Moi: I’m not sure yet…who would you like me to vote for?
A1: Obama
Moi: Why Obama?
A1: Because he’s from Africa and he’s Muslim.
Moi: He’s not Muslim actually.
A1: They said he’s Muslim.
Moi: They who???
A1: Where is your husband?
Moi: He went to work.
A1: So you’re alone?
Moi: Yes.
A1: Is he good to you?
Moi: Yes, very good.
A1: You get along?
Moi: Yes, very much
A1: Rebi yahdi (May God show him the right path)….Why don't you ask your husband to convert to Islam? You'll both go to heaven…lucky for you…
Moi: Why lucky me?…You're going to heaven yourself with all your prayers.
A1: I can’t guarantee it…I could go to hell as well.
Moi: Why you haven’t killed anybody?
A1: Its all in his hands.
Moi: Oh please…you'll be fine
A1: You'll go for sure if you convert your husband.
Moi: Even if I kill somebody?
A1: Even if you kill somebody… defensively.
Moi: How about for stealing?
A1: Just convert him and your place in heaven will be waiting for you both.
Moi: I don't want to impose anything on him…Muslims, Christians… whatever…what's the difference…they all believe in God…what's the big deal.
A1: No it's not the same….Look at what the cartoonists did.
Moi: The cartoonists?? I don't understand the connection! They don't represent a whole religion.
A1: Their country supported them saying it's freedom of speech.
Moi: Well you can't burn cars and embassies because somebody says or draws something that offends you.
A1: They're just protecting the prophet.
Moi: The prophet doesn't need protection.
A1: Well, they should make an example of him.
Moi: Him who?
A1: The cartoonist.
Moi: What time is it there?

Moi: Hi,It’s Leila
A3: Louuuuuuula,
Moi: How are you?
A3: Good, how are you sweetie?
Moi: Very good and you?
A3: I am good. Nothing new?
Moi: No.
A3: Really?
Moi: Really, nothing much has happened since I last talked to you.
A3: Nothing ….like nothing?
Moi: Nothing
A3: Come on …you don’t have babies yet?
Moi: No
A3: Really ? Come on tell me the truth.
Moi: No
A3: Really?
Moi: Yea really…why would I hide such a thing?
A3: Oh please tell me the truth.
Moi: Ok I am pregnant with a pig.
A3: Don’t say that..its bad luck.
Moi: Well then stop it. I am not pregnant and I am not hiding any babies from you.
A3: What did you have for lunch?
Moi: I am not having lunch yet…it’s early for lunch
A3: What time is it there?
Moi: 11a.m
A3: 11 am??Really? It’s 5 p.m here…so what are you going to cook for lunch?
Moi: I am working from home so I am not going to make a feast. I’ll just have some soup.
A3: You’re on a diet?
Moi: No, I love soups in the winter and that’s what I have ready so…
A3: Do you cook everyday?
Moi: It depends, not like you do..
A3: I know, I heard Oprah say ‘How can you cook so much’. What are you going to cook for dinner?
Moi: I don’t know.
A3: Do you have a maid?
Moi: No, its too expensive here for that and I work from home anyway, so I don’t need one.
A3: Your cleaning now?
Moi: No, I’m working on the computer.

Moi: Hi Mama, Its Leila I miss you.
A2: HEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey Leilouta my sweetheart. I saw that you called me earlier….sorry I missed you, I was praying.
Moi: No problem, what’s new ??
A2: Nothing….nothing changes at all here… people get older, that’s it!! How about you?...Any babies yet
Moi: No.
A2: Why not?
Moi: I don’t know…I will let you know when I do.
A2: You should have some now so they grow old with you..What are you waiting for? You don’t want to have them in your fifties.
Moi: Ok
A2: So what’s the problem? You don’t want kids or you can’t have them?
Moi: Could you be a little more direct?
A2: What?
Moi: Nothing
A2: So …you don’t want kids or you cant have them?
Moi: OMG… You’ll be the first to know!!
A2: What time is it there?
Moi: 3 p.m
A2: 3pm? Really?It’s 9 p.m here.
Moi: Yea there is a 6 hour difference.
A2: What did you have for lunch?
Moi: Soup.
A2: Soup, that’s it? You don’t cook?
Moi: Yea I do, but not all day long. I’m working.
A2: Oh your at work?
Moi: No, I’m working from home.
A2: Cleaning the house?
Moi: No, the computer.
A2: So your not cooking?
Moi: Not right now.
A2: Oh yea ….Americans go to restaurants all the time

America in Pictures

2008-02-26T21:07:00.004-05:00

I couldn't resist!

Benevolence

2007-07-24T21:10:00.001-05:00

Tunisian President Ben Ali magnanimously ordered the release on parole of the malcontent Mohamed Abou in recognition of the 50th anniversary of the Tunisian Republic. The accused was arrested March 1, 2005 following the publication of two online articles in which he denounced the use of torture in Tunisia and compared it to the abuses at Abu Graib.

The Quddafi Challenge

2007-07-24T19:44:00.001-05:00

Here is a great video from the Great Reformer of Lybia telling Africans how they can do to the carbonated beverage industry what he has done to the medical industry in his country. For those interested in creating a business plan, the key ingredient is scapegoating. Once you convince your target audience, then you can implement your changes. I guess that Lybia is now filled with Cuban health specialists, and a Sicko ripoff is in the works to show the people the new way forward.

Fun Fact: The special sauce in a McDonalds Big Mac was stolen from Africa during the colonial period.

White Legged Women

2007-07-06T18:46:00.000-05:00

My last post brought out some very bright commenters who tell me that I should have married a Muslim man because they believe my American husband can leave at any time for any “white legged woman”. They also warned me that Americans force their women to “show off their wrists and neck and subject wives to God knows what”. At first I was confused, because I have white legs, at least in the winter. Secondly, I was alarmed because, not only do I show wrists and neck but I wear a bikini! I must already be under the American spell.

Here is a video that I am sure these bright commenters would agree with. It describes the proper way to handle your wife on your wedding night. The video is in Arabic so here is an English summary:

After the wedding is over and the family and friends leave, step into the house with your right foot and say a blessing. Right after the blessing proceed to the bedroom. The bedroom should have very low lighting with soft colors and be very romantic. The groom should then show his love and affection to ease his wife’s fears. After that he can take her clothes off while showering her with tender kisses and saying nice things about her body. He can take everything off but her underwear. While they are standing kissing he can gently take her to the bed. He should remove her brassiere while sitting next to her and play with her chest with his hands while his mouth is still in hers. He should wait for her to react. When she reacts he can then take her last piece of clothing off and kiss her breasts. He then can suck on them while the bride is on her back He can feel free then to touch her body with his hands with care and tenderness. When his left hand reaches her (you know what) he can rub it and concentrate on the ( you know what). Now he can stop sucking on her breasts and kissing her on the lips when he feels their warmth. Then he can start kissing the lower ….

you get the idea.

Girls, if you have the proper reactions then it is guaranteed you won’t have to worry about your man running off.

Via Jameed

Why did God Create Hair on Women?

2007-07-05T12:55:00.003-05:00

I just love this story Sassou told on her blog about an experience she had with her Islamic teacher in high school. She wrote it in French so I will summarize it in English.

My friend was around 11 or 12 years old at the time. She was in class and the teacher was giving a lesson about how good respectable Muslim women should wear the hijab.
My friend was a little confused and innocently asked the teacher,” Sir, if God wants women to wear the veil then why did he create hair on their heads?”
The teacher found her question very offensive and rude, so instead of giving her an answer he told her to bring her father to the school so he could have a talk with him.
Her father met the teacher the next day. The teacher told him what my friend had said, and then started blaming him for his daughter’s lack of religious education. He told the father that he needed to pay more attention to it.
Her father was stunned and not more than a little mad. He asked the teacher,” I took off work for this? Why don’t you tell me why God made women with hair? “
The teacher didn’t respond.

Her story brought back so many memories from Islamic class. All the punishments inflicted for not doing good, stealing, or drinking. Memorizing verses from the Koran and never being allowed to ask questions because they were so sacred. Studying the hadith and trying to remember the lineage of all the tellers of each one.

One year we had a very rude teacher who thought all the students were spoiled brats because the school was in one of the better neighborhoods in Tunis. He enjoyed calling us names. His favorites were “Yogurt People” جماعة الياغورت(because only the rich could afford such a luxury), Nanan (after the first Tunisian cereal)جماعة النانو, and أولاد نناتيHe was also fond of calling one of my friends “germ” جرثومة because she would often smile and talk during class.

He made students who were a second late to class go recite verses from the Koran in front of the class. “germ” and I were always the first ones to class, but it didn’t matter, he would send her to the front of the class anyway.
I wonder what he calls his students now, maybe “Cell Phone people”.

Happy Fourth of July

2007-07-04T22:33:00.000-05:00

We started the day with the parade down main street. Actually all the streets were closed in our neighborhood so we had no choice. We couldn't leave. Then we met up with Natasha and her husband for a picnic at Great Falls, Md. Then it was on to the fireworks in Rockville.

Serious vegetarian!

I always get God's voicemail, but this guy got through this morning.

Putting the belly in belly dancing!

If you don't have flourescent light bulbs this guy shows up at your house!

Lighting the grill.
Feeding the animals.

The view from the Maryland side of the Potomac at Great Falls.

Happy Fourth of July!

Sympathetic Husband

2007-06-13T08:03:00.000-05:00

I’ve been meaning to clean the fridge. It has gotten dirty but I just hate cleaning fridges. It would be much easier if I was in Tunisia where I could just dump buckets and buckets of water on the stone floors but the wood here just messes up all the fun. I have been postponing it now for a week and it is not getting any cleaner. I think it has been bothering me because I had a dream about it last night and shared it with my husband for some sympathy:

Moi,”I had a dream last night that the fridge was very clean.”
Husband,”Did you dream of cleaning it?”

Oshi

2007-06-12T07:52:00.001-05:00

My 12 year old niece has been sleeping with this stuffed animal since she was born and can't bare to let it go yet. Her mother and grandmother have heroically kept the beast alive all these years. A few years ago I asked her what animal it was and she looked at me in shock and said, "Leila, don't you know what a cow looks like?".

That's Hot

2007-06-08T14:02:00.000-05:00

Today I wore this T-Shirt as a show of solidarity. If she has to go back to jail I will go on a hunger strike. Hmmm, that could be a new diet to get the Hollywood look!

Quiz

2007-06-07T18:14:00.001-05:00

Quiz 2

Identify this guy strutting his stuff in front of my sister-in-law and I on a Chesapeake Bay beach:

A- Local
B- Tourist

Lunch Break

2007-06-06T20:07:00.000-05:00

I called my aunt last Monday.

Aunt,"Anything new?"
Moi,"No, everything’s the same."
Aunt,"Yea right, come on.. nothing? Nothing at all?"
Moi,"No, nothing really."
Aunt,"Are you pregnant yet?"
Moi,"No"
Aunt,"What are you waiting for?"
Moi,"huh...I am not pregnant "
Aunt,"Why don't you get pregnant?"
Moi,"Stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Aunt,"Your using contraception then?"
Moi,"This is too weird. I am uncomfortable talking to you about my sex life aaaaah ...."
Aunt,"Where are you? At home or at work?"
Moi,"I am working from home today."
Aunt,"What?!! Working from home??!! You must be pregnant then."
Moi,"Ok I am pregant."
Aunt,"Really?"
Moi,"Yes."
Aunt,"No, you're not"
Moi," Ok, I am not."
Aunt,"No, really...are you pregnant?"
Moi,"NO I AM NOT."
Aunt,"Yes you are."
Moi," Ok I am then."
Aunt," You are really?"
Moi,"NOOO."
Aunt," Why not, what are you waiting for. They'll take care of you when you get older."
Moi," Ok I will work on it just for you."
Aunt,"Where is your husband? Is he sleeping?”
Moi,"No, he is at work."
Aunt,"How is he treating you? Is he making you miserable?"
Moi," No, not at all. We get along very well."
Aunt,"What time is it there?”
Moi,"10a.m"
Aunt,"10a.m?Really? It’s 4p.m. here. What are you having for lunch?”
Moi,"I don't know yet."
Aunt," Aren't you going to cook?"
Moi," I don't know yet."
Aunt,"Ok, so you're working from home and it is 10a.m and you're too lazy to make lunch. You must be pregnant."
Moi,"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah I am not pregnant!”
Aunt, “ You better get started. If you get too old you might not be able to.”
Moi,”Then I could adopt.”
Aunt,"OH NO adoption is Haram."
Moi,"Why?"
Aunt,"Because an adopted child could marry a sibling."
Moi, “I have to go make lunch now.”

Any Volunteers?

2007-06-05T19:44:00.000-05:00

I have been wanting to talk about this subject for a while but never got the chance until I saw this comment on my post about the Women in Art video.

“Well thats Saudi Culture. But that seems a bit biased L. You said Western Women, the proper thing would have been to show the evolution of Eastern women.”

First, I did show the evolution of Saudi women. Second, its ok to point out backwardness. Many times since I have moved here I have been in conversations about the Middle East because of my background. The conversations sometimes lead to discussions of what goes on in the “kingdom”. Many times the person has been to Saudi Arabia or had relatives who worked there. When I ask about what they think of the beheadings, amputations, women not being able to drive, forcing all women to be covered and escorted, using foreignors like slaves, the fact they can’t bring their bibles with them or wear a cross, and the fact that they are not allowed in certain cities and areas, they usually respond,“Well that’s their culture.” Well sorry, its misogynistic and backward, and we shouldn’t be afraid to say so. My husband likes to say that the pretensions of multculturalism and political correctness would break down if an Aztec was in the room asking for volunteers to help make the sun come up the next day. I agree.

Sex Secrets of Older Women

2007-06-04T21:38:00.000-05:00

My husband is allergic to Dr Phil, Oprah, and The View. He can’t stand them especially, the View.When I happen to have the TV tuned into The View, and he is around, he clutches his ears like they are burning and begs me to turn it off. I believe the sound of Rosie’s voice actually caused him physical pain. He doesn’t get ill when Oprah is on, but he doesn’t like me watching. He is afraid I will get infected by ‘Oprah-itis’.
Today I was watching Oprah and the subject was anti-aging secrets of great women. They talked about how sex gets better after 50 and other secrets of aging gracefully. I called my husband from the other room…

Moi,”Honey please come and watch Oprah with me."

Him,”No way…I’ll pass."

Moi,”pleaaaaaaaaase…come watch …it is very interesting…they are talking with older woman about aging and sex. It will help you know what I am going through as I get older.”

Him,”That’s ok…I will deal with it then.”

UPDATE: WOW! Just checked my stats and they are through the roof. Thank you Andrew for linking to me, and welcome to all your readers.

Women in Art

2007-06-04T06:28:00.001-05:00

Here is a cool YouTube movie of women in Western art.

Here is the official Saudi version.

Cat Fight!

2007-05-23T16:13:00.001-05:00

Rosie and Hasselcrack Fight!
Uploaded by TheDlisted

Cat Fight!

Team Building Fatwa

2007-05-22T12:54:00.001-05:00

Think of the team building activities you could have in the office if this is implemented:

Ezzat Attiya had issued a fatwa, or religious edict, saying adult men could breast-feed from female work colleagues as a way to avoid breaking Islamic rules that forbid men and women from being alone together.

In Islamic tradition, breast-feeding establishes a degree of maternal relation, even if a woman nurses a child who is not biologically hers. It means the child could not marry the nursing woman's biological children.

Friday Night Videos

2007-05-18T07:47:00.000-05:00

Sexy?

2007-05-16T14:38:00.000-05:00

The minute I saw this picture I was reminded of the time I got a root canal and my mouth was numb with anaesthesia, and I kept drooling.

Update:

Avoiding Andrea

2007-05-14T20:23:00.001-05:00

My husband and I went to Florida for our wedding anniversary this past week. We planned on staying at Daytona Beach the whole time, but a b*tch called Andrea (actually a tropical storm) with high winds and a dangerous surf kept me from swimming and tanning. My husband knows how much I love swimming and the sun so he was willing to drive to the end of the earth to find me some sun and not spoil my trip. After a few days in Daytona we got a refund and were off to Tampa/St. Petersburg. It was very sunny and warm when we got there, so I assumed it was going to stay that way. For that reason I only stayed about 6 hours in the sun the first day, and decided to avoid it the following day and then tan again the third day. I had seen some leather skinned older women in Florida and it scared me. I decided not to tan and get too dark like I used to. Well the b*tch Andrea followed us to Tampa. Even though she was still off the Atlantic coast her winds blew the forest fire smoke all across the state into the Tampa Bay area!! It was very smoky, and hazy during the day. I had fun though and stayed out of the smoke. Nothing was going to take me away from swimming and the sand. Finally the winds changed and by the end of the trip the conditions were clear.

While relaxing next to the swimming pool, my husband pointed out a small lizard. I took my camera and tried to find him for a picture. An older man who resembled an out of shape John Kerry was watching me and asked what I was doing.

John Kerry look alike,”What are you taking a picture off?
Moi,” A lizard.”
JK,” You’ve never seen a lizard before in your life?”
Moi,”???$#$? !!!”
JK,” I notice an accent there, where are you from?”
Moi,” Tunisia.”
His non condiment heiress wife was sitting behind him and decided to interject ,” Indonesia?”
Moi,” NO, Tunisia.”
His wife,” oh ok, my sister-in-law is from Indonesia, that is why I said Indonesia.”
Moi,”ok”
JK,” Oh Tunisia in North Africa?”
Moi,” Yes.”
JK,” You are lighter than you’re supposed to be.”

My husband was close to me but not close enough to hear our words so I went closer to him and said,” Hahaha he said I was lighter than I was supposed to be.”

He laughed thinking that the man meant lighter in weight, compared to all the heavy woman by the pool.

Once I got back to my chair, I explained to him that I thought he meant whiter in skin color…. We laughed the man’s unique ideas about North Africa and then my husband decided to go to the store to get some drinks. Before leaving he said to me,” Before I come back make sure you fix that nappy head of hair.”

I never really noticed all the Christian billboards in Florida during my other trips. They are all over. We also passed by a drive-in church.Also, there must be more tattoo shops per capita down there than in any other state!

Here is a bench outside the Salvador Dali museum in St. Petersburg.

I found a great Thai restaurant near our hotel. The food was delicious and the prices were much cheaper than DC. It might be my next new thing.

I found these cool flip flop coasters at one of the beach shops.

…and this cute couple.

Each morning we had a guest for breakfast. This bird would sit outside the door and wait for food. I gave him raw hamburger and he fell in love with me.

Waiting for dinner next to the fishing boats.

Some things I found on the beach.

Why the Panic?

2007-05-03T06:59:00.000-05:00

Last week my husband and I were involved in a small argument. Naturally I gave him the cold shoulder all week. I knew my silence would eventually have to end because his mother was arriving for a weekend visit. I decided to wait until the last day to see if he was going to do anything to prepare for her visit. The house needed cleaning and the refrigerator had to be stocked. I was wondering if he was expecting me to take care of all the details. As Friday arrived I saw no signs that my husband was doing anything.

Around 10am on the day of her arrival he decided to go to the grocery store. He came up to me and asked me if I had a list. I answered," Are you kidding me!!"

He went to the grocery store and returned with a whole cooked chicken and about 10 cleaning products. He used them all to clean the bathroom. He then put some sheets into the wash and that was it!!!! Time was ticking and I was wondering if that was all he thought he needed to do, so I finally had to intervene. I asked him what he was planning to serve his mother for dinner.

Husband, "the chicken."

Moi, "chicken!!!"

Him, "yea she likes chicken."

Moi, "You are going to server your mother a chicken for dinner, and that is all?!!!

Husband, "yea what is wrong with that?"

Moi,"aaaaaaaaah ...let me get this right. you're going to serve her a chicken and nothing else? no side dishes?!!"

Him, while opening the freezer to check what kind of frozen vegetables we had, "I don't know.. we have peas....chicken and peas."

I cut him off at this point," OMG!!!! What is wrong with you?... you're going to serve her chicken and peas!!! Wow!! What a dinner!!"

Him ,"She probably will be too tired to eat. They eat dinner at 4 back home, remember?"

Moi, “How about tomorrow's breakfast? Did you think of that while you were at the grocery store? We don't even have milk!!"

Him," What is the big deal, I can buy that tomorrow."

Moi," So tomorrow when your mom wakes up, you will go to the grocery store while we're waiting for you."

Him," I can go tonight around 9 or 10....she sleeps early."

Moi," I don't understand you...why not buy everything we need at once...Are you planning on going to the grocery store for every meal?"

Thank God I didn't listen to him. I finished cleaning. Mopped the floors. Stripped the beds and made dinner. I sent him to buy more groceries. Just before he was leaving to pick her up around 5pm he said to me. “Why the panic. Everything got done. “

His mom arrived and ate everything I made, plus two servings of desert. And guess what? She slept at 12 a.m. I am never going to listen to my husband again.

Consumer Product Test

2007-05-02T18:11:00.000-05:00

A coworker brought me this “juicer” from his trip to Florida. Here are the results of my first attempt at using it.

Exchange Programs

2007-05-01T09:24:00.000-05:00

The Lost Libyano said...

Is their a Arab Exchange program?

By this I mean, can we trade immoral arabs such as Leilouta, for God fearing arabs like the ones back in arabia ? Maybe ones who have morals, and respect Islam? Or better yet even ones who have respect for their own culture? Ones who are not pusher overs for the fag-culture of Europe. Makes sense right. Bring some real arabs overhere! Some of those manly men of war with honour and pride! Some who are not ashamed of their culture, some who have pride, some who have backbone. Some who do not wish to bring the mental illness of homosexuality to the lands of the berber brothern, some of the arabs who wish to enjoin in good and forbid evil? Just a thought

-A Concerned Conservtive Berber Citzen

I think Arabia has enough of Lost Libyano Arabs : the manly homophobic honour killers who are full of pride and respect while lacking in brains. Lets exchange a few of them for Arabs who have respect for their own religion and tolerate the religion of others. Ones who respect their culture and can respect the culture of others. Men with backbones willing to do hard work and stand up to the injustices in Arabia. Men without so much pride that they know that not all Arabian problems are caused by fag cultures. Men with enough learning to know the difference between illnesses and lifestyles. Men humble enough to know that there is only one judge, and that judge is not on this planet.

A Gay Tunisian Controversy

2007-04-30T12:30:00.000-05:00

Houhou is the creator of TN.blog. Despite his efforts, he often gets criticized for reasons that are sometimes ridiculous. I would like to know how he manages to keep his cool despite such nonsense. Recently, “Tunisian Doctor” had a post entitled “I am leaving TN-Blog.” The reason he gave was that he “simply refuses to be associated with sexual "perverts" since a new gay blog has been added to TN.blog.” He asked Houhou to delete his link from the TN-blog list. Here are some of the comments that he received translated into English:

“I don’t sympathize with homosexuals, but to leave tn-blogs because of a gay blog…!
That means that if you see gays at the beach, you would leave the beach?!! In a restaurant…or also Mr Doctor, if a homosexual comes for a visit in your clinic, you’ll refuse to take care of him!!!!”

“Dear doctor, thank you and bravo for your frankness.
I support you to the end. When I read the comments I feel sorry for the Tunisia that doesn’t have an identity anymore.”

“I sympathize with you doctor.
Gays and Lesbians ( God protect us from them) are sick ( but human beings Like everybody) they need to be cured in a psychiatric asylum at their own expense of course :))
They certainly have the right to live, and to integrate in the society, without polluting it or spreading their incestuous way of live especially in an eternal Arab Muslim Tunisia.”

“I am a homophobe, I don’t respect gays and it is out of question to accept them in an Arab-Muslim society. To those who call themselves “modern” and “flexible”, that preach tolerance, open mindedness, etc seems to me that they don’t respect their Islam religion and the Arab nation first.”

“Bravo doctor for your stand, thank God we still have men in Tunisia.”

“Dear doctor, I am with you 100%, ignore them and don’t leave TN blogs, it is for Tunisians, and most of them thank god are normal .
For those of you who want to “change”, your way is going to be much longer than you think.”

“What is your problem? Homosexuals hit on you?
If I ever left the tn.blogs it will be because of you and others who don’t tolerate differences and especially individual freedom. It is hypocrisy, homosexuality exist in Tunisia more than we think…in boarding schools, at building sites, in administrations…due to the easy contact between men…
I am still struck, what is your problem? How does it bother you? Why didn’t you leave when we violated other principles?”

“I am against it, because such matters exposed in public shock the spirits and cause moral panic that takes you absolutely nowhere but to physical and verbal violence. So for me we have to respect the dominant culture and never expose those questions in a society, in the internet, or other medias.”

“What is funny are those people that mention that we came from an Arab Muslim culture so no gay attitude with us!! I invite those to take a deeper look at our Arab Muslim history. Many “khalif” had their cuties, without mentioning old Arab poetry that is full of “pervert” erotic even in the prophet era “

“I am very shocked with the intolerance of some. Sexuality like religion is a personal matter. Everyone does whatever pleases him or her OPENLY because apparently we want to bury homosexuals, we know that they exist but we’d rather not hear about it so where is the truth?”

“To the gays of tn-blogs,
I am in a noble ground that is Tunisia. I am a part of a noble population. I am Tunisian. My identity is defined by my country’s constitution. The flag of my country symbolizes my membership and those of my ancestors with the blood of our martyrs as a base.
With the name of this noble ground that is Tunisia:
Dear gays,
-Note that I respect everybody’s identity
-Write whatever you want, however you want but don’t use the word Tunisia in your denomination.”

“It is a surprise!! It shows that we still have a long way to go.”

HouHou responds:

"when an Arab is qualified as a terrorist, when he is discriminated or stigmatized by others ( which happens a lot), he screams injustice to intolerance and racism. However the same people are the first ones to proclaim proudly they are homophobic and scream loud and strong: "Death to gays."

Their Day In Court

2007-04-20T14:05:00.000-05:00

My grandfather's house is located in a small town in southern Tunisia. My brothers and I would visit during the summer months all throughout our childhood. My eldest aunt lived with him and took care of my grandfather. She was like a grandmother to me and I loved going to their place because she spoiled me. At night I would lay in her lap and she would play with my hair while talking to her sisters or the other guests. During the day we had many cousins to play and fight with. I would play tricks on everybody. I once shaved my aunts arms while she slept. My cousin and I made French fries at 3 a.m. but were caught by our grandfather who threw them away. On another occasion I convinced my brothers to wear the safsari and walk to a neighbor’s house.

One year I bought five chicks for about 50 cents. I was warned that they would probably die quickly, but I didn't care. I thought I would take such good care of them that they would never leave me for death. I was right. Three of them made it and started to grow and get very fit. They were hyper and fast, and my aunt had to clean after them all day long. I tried to make them sleep with me in my bed but they refused. There was no way they were going to lay on their back and allow me to cover them with a sheet. During the day I fed my chickens all kinds of goodies: eggs, meat, vegetables, pasta...they seemed to eat everything.

They always came to me when I called them and I told everyone they were my babies. I decided to stay at my grandfathers the whole summer and refused to leave the house for anything, because of them. I was worried that if I stepped out of the house my cousins would hurt or mistreat them.

Another aunt of mine from the same town begged me to visit her for a few days. I told her I couldn't leave my chickens alone and that she would have to wait until next year to see me. She understood how important my babies were to me so she suggested that I bring them along. I prepared a bag with their favorite food and carried them in an open box during the 45 minute walk to my aunt’s house.
My aunt didn't have a traditional Arab house with a courtyard so the chickens slept in a cage in the garden next to the rabbits. I didn't like this setup so I left the following morning telling her that my babies needed to go back home.

The summer finally passed by and I had to go back to Tunis to start school. It was terrible, I had to leave my babies. I cried and cried and was miserable. I made my aunt promise me that she will take good care of them, and that she would do everything for them. I told her that I would stay in touch as much as I could to get news of them.

Two months later, I got a call from my aunt telling me that the chickens were terrorizing the kids in the neighborhood. She told me that everybody was complaining and that it was too much for my grandfather, and he had to kill them.
Then she added, "They didn't even have much meat on them." I was horrified.

If I had only grown up in the US, my chickens could have had their day in court like this donkey!

Nightmare

2007-04-20T00:02:00.000-05:00

Moi,"I had a dream last night that we didn't go anywhere for our Anniversary!

Husband,"Oh..No..That is a nightmare!!

I don't even want to know if he was being sarcastic, funny, or afraid.

What’s For Lunch

2007-04-18T13:51:00.000-05:00

I go through food phases where I can eat the same thing for days and weeks. A few months ago, I went through a hummus phase. I have eaten hummus before, of course, but I never had any as good as Natasha’s. After eating her freshly made hummus I became obsessed with it and started making it from scratch daily for weeks. Before my brother was due to arrive for a small visit to DC, I asked him what kind of food he liked, and what he wanted me to cook for him. He told me “hummus”! I was so excited that my brother liked hummus also, that I served it to him every meal for his whole visit. He told me that he makes it with extra garlic and uses a “mihras” (mortar and pestal) to soften the ingredients. I guess we went through the same phase together.

Here was a typical dinner during my hummus phase. Hummus with olive oil, meat, pine nuts, and pita bread.

Here is where I started to get extravagant with the hummus adding tomatoes, avocados, eggs, harrisa,meat, pine nuts, and pita. My husband looked at it and said, ”Do you have enough protein there?” He asked if I started bodybuilding.

After my brother left I got tired of hummus and since the weather turned cold again I switched to nice hot bowls of chili. My husband was working from home one day and surprised me with some homemade chili when I got home from work. It was really delicious, but since I was still into hummus I didn’t think too much about it. After I got tired of the hummus, I moved right into the chili. My enthusiasm for my new dish forced me to expand on my husband’s recipe, so I went out and bought bags of vegetables.

I’ve been going to work more often lately, so I brought a big bowl of chili everyday for weeks. My husband is used to me so I don’t have to give him any explanations about my “phases” or my moods. I could eat grass and fried rat and he wouldn’t even question me. He knows that I don’t like to be asked too many questions so he leaves me a alone with my “unique” habits. At work though it is another story. My coworker asked me every single day what my plans were for lunch and if I brought my own. Each day I would tell her “chili”. Her answer was always,” Again?”
Yes, again and again and again and she should thank her lucky stars that I haven’t had a fried fish phase.
Last Monday while I was making a new batch of chili, I told my husband that I shouldn’t bring it to work anymore. Everyone was starting to notice how often I had been bringing chili to work and I think they think I have some sort of problem.
I haven’t had chili since Tuesday and I miss it. Time for a new dish. Hmmm…. if I only knew how to make the Egyptian Kushari!!!!!!! That is the dish I had everyday when I went to Egypt.

Commenting on VA Tech

2007-04-17T17:32:00.000-05:00

For a different perspective here are some comments I collected from a few Arab newspapers about the massacre at Virginia Tech.

لو حصل ذلك الحادث في بلد اسلامي لقالوا هذا هو الإسلام والمسلمون. لكن يا ترى ماذا سيقولون الآن؟
If that happened in a Muslim country they would say that it is Islam and Muslims, but what will they say now?

هم دائما يلصقون صفة الارهاب بالعرب والسؤال الان ماذا نسمي الذي حدث بالجامعه ومقتل كل هؤلاء الابرياء الا يعد ارهابا واجراما وهذا يدل ان الارهاب ليس له جنسيه او دين وانما هو موجود في كل زمان ومكان حتى انه موجود في بلادكم التي تتغنى دائما بالحريه والديمقراطيه والتحضر وبايدي ابنائكم هذه المره
They always combine terrorism with the Arabs and the question now is what do we call what happened at that University and the death of all those innocents?
Isn’t it terror and crime and this proves that terrorism has no race or religion. It exists in every era and everywhere. It also exists in your country, that brags about freedom, democracy, and civilization, at the hands of your kids this time.

“Notice that the racist federal police spokesman did not call this terror a terroist act!! Why? If this is not terror what the hell is a terrorist act then?!! Is that because the criminal killer is American ?!! Shame , my heart goes out to the victims and their families.”

ها هي أميركا تدفع ثمن كبريائها،…
Here is the USA paying the price of its arrogance.

اولا تعازينا لاهالى الضحايا حتى لو كانت امريكا بسياستها متغطرسه وحدث هذا لعلها تفيق. اما الاهم والاغرب فالموضوع هو تعازى دوله ايران التى اقول عربيه بالفعل احتار امرى فى هذا البلد الصالح رغم انحرافه بعض الشىء فاصل الدين لكن صدقونى هم اقوياء ولا يبعثون بالتعازى من اجل شى وارجعو للايام الماضيه احتجازهم للبحارة البريطانين لمجرد عبورهم مياهم الاقليميه هذا يدل على ان ايران دوله قويه جدا فى كل شى حتى فالاخلاق لو لم اكن مصريا لوددت ان اكون ايرانيا مسلما موحدا بالله وسنه نبيه ويرحم الله الحكام العرب مهدرين الكرامه الذين يبعثون بالتعازى الان للدوله المسيطرة على عقولهم الموالسون معها
First of all, our condolences to the mourning families even if the US’s policy is brutal and now that happened maybe it will wake up. The most important and strange thing in this subject is Iran’s condolences. I am confused about that country but believe me they are strong and they don’t usually send condolences for anybody, and go back to the story of the British sailors. That shows that Iran is a very strong country in everything. If I was not Egyptian I would’ve loved to be Iranian, Muslim, believing in the only God and its prophet. And God have mercy on Arab rulers that lose their honor by sending condolences to the country that dominants their heads…

هذا هو غضب اللة علي الكفرة .الذين يقتلون الاطفال والشيوخ ويغتصبون النساء في العراق وفي افغانستان وجميع الدول الاسلامية .
This is God’s anger against the infidels who kill kids and elders and rape women in Iraq, Afganistan, and all the Muslim countries.

هذة حقيقة الشعب الامريكي (شعب مجرم ) و نسال الله ان يسلط بعضهم على بعض.
This is the truth about Americans (criminals) and we ask God ….

اعتقد ان المسلمين ليسوا الاعنف الان
I think that Muslims are not the most violent now

لعل ضمير بوش يصحو ويعرف انه كان سبب في قتل مئات الالوف من العراقيين وليس ثلاثة وثلاثين
Maybe Bush’s conscience will wake up now and will know that he was the reason for the hundreds of thousands of Iraqi deaths and not 33

طالم اسرائيل تقتلنا في لبنان ها هم في امريكا يقتلون بعضهم البعض والله يزيدن
As long as Israel kill us in Lebanon , there in America they kill each other …

مات الابرياء وبقي المذنبون الحقيقيون احياء يرزقون كم تمنيت لو كان هذا الهجوم علي البيت الابيض بدل تلك الجامعة المسالمة
Innocents died and the guilty are alive. I wish that attack happened in the White House instead of that peaceful University

انتظرو قبل ان تشمتو لعل بين القتلى احد من الطلبه المسلمين ...
Wait before you rejoice maybe one of the dead is a Muslim student

ما حدث ممكن أن يحدث فى أى مكان في العالم . لما الشماتة فى أمـريـكا!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What happened could happen anywhere in the world. Why take malicious pleasure in the mishaps of the US!!!!

أتقدم بالتعازي للضحايا وأسرهم وما حصل عندهم قد يحصل عندنا لا سمح الله علمنا ديننا ونبينا أن لا نشمت بأحد أي كان الحمد لله على كل حال
My condolences to the victim’s families and what happened to them can happen to us, God forbid. Our religion and prophet taught us that we shouldn’t rejoice in anybody’s misery.

Sales

2007-03-22T11:33:00.000-05:00

My husband was craving chips the other night so I offered to go to CVS to get him some snacks. On my way to the chip aisle, a big’ 75% off’ sign caught my attention. I couldn’t resist myself and had a blast looking through all the beauty supplies that were on sale. I left the store with 4 heavy bags and completely forgot about the snacks. Thank God my husband was asleep by the time I arrived home.

I don’t know exactly how this stuff works, or even what it is.

Ok, I bought some extra shampoo and conditioner, but it can last for a long time. I got hair spray, even though I never use it, some curl-enhancing mask and straightener cream. When I see a sale I don’t even know what I am buying anymore. I haven’t even decided what to do with my hair.

I almost forgot to mention the hair color products. They were only one dollar and I had to buy them just incase. I like my hair color, and I have no plans whatsoever to change my hair color anytime soon. Even if I did change my color I would do it professionally. I just bought those incase a friend needs some…ok, I have a serious problem.

Excuse me, I’m sorry

2007-03-21T15:09:00.001-05:00

I thought I have been living in the US long enough to understand the difference between "I’m sorry" and "excuse me", but apparently I've been using it the wrong way all along. My husband, who refuses to correct my English mistakes or pronunciation, decided to correct me after all this time I've been with him. He asked me why I said ‘sorry’ to the people when we entered an elevator a few weeks ago. He said,”maybe you should try ‘excuse me’ when moving past people". I couldn't believe it!!! I am glad he finally told me about this silly mistake, but why couldn't he tell me a while back instead of letting me make it over and over again in public. Now I have been trying to use "excuse me" more. I think I may be using it too much and I am starting to get confused again. I stepped on a woman’s foot yesterday and just stared at her for the extra few seconds it took me to decide which phrase to use in that situation. Because I was a little unsure of myself, when I finally decided on “excuse me” it came out in the form of a question. She looked at me like I was the rudest person on the planet. I think I will just switch back to ‘I’m sorry’ for everything.

Got Dirt?

2007-03-20T19:49:00.001-05:00

Courtney likes to get down and dirty. Now that spring is here you can too. Go out to the yard, and grab a handful of dirt. Add water. Get down.

Scenes from the DC War Protest

2007-03-17T17:28:00.000-05:00

My brother is in town for a visit so my husband and I thought we could show him something different besides the normal sightseeing. He is not a drinker so instead of finding a pub and toasting St. Patty, we headed for the protests in DC. Here are some pictures:

Walking down 23rd St. toward the Lincoln Memorial.

Corner of 23rd and Constitution Ave.

"Truthers" show up everywhere!

Police and veterans groups stood guard around the Vietnam Memorial.

The white tents had metal detectors to screen everyone before they could enter the Vietnam Memorial.

Counter protesters along the route.

Bulletin from the Ministry of the Protection of the Citizens

2007-02-22T14:27:00.000-05:00

Another win for the State. A deranged internet "blogger", whose thoughts and words strayed from the accepted norms of our enlightened culture, was humanely silenced today. Because re-education had failed and censorship is forbidden by the President, the only humane recourse was the incarceration of the deviant. Citizens are to be assured that their safety comes first and the State will make every effort to ensure it. The President urges the citizens to forget this distasteful event and continue on with their lives.

UPDATE: The Ministry of Grooming and Hygiene reports that a vicious rumor is spreading throughout the Capital and would like to make the following announcement of Truth. "The President's hair is natural and no hair color products have every been used in the Presidential household." Citizens hearing rumors to the contrary are asked to report the rumormonger to the nearest authorities.

Hurry Yogurts

2007-02-22T14:25:00.000-05:00

This on-line translation put a smile on my face. The translation should be something like this: Many countries are hurrying to evacuate their citizens from Lebanon.

This Could Catch On

2007-02-21T00:01:00.002-05:00

Thanks trendsetter!

Valentine's Day From an Islamic Perspective

2007-02-13T18:35:00.000-05:00

I bet my husband would consider converting if he knew of this ruling on Valentine’s Day.

Focusing more on the question in point, I can say that there are forms of expressing love that are religiously acceptable, while there are others that are not religiously acceptable. Among the forms of love that are religiously acceptable are those that include the love for Prophets and Messengers. It stands to reason that the love for Allah, and His Messenger Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) should have the top priority over all other forms of love.

Islam does recognize happy occasions that bring people closer to one another, and add spice to their lives. However, Islam goes against blindly imitating the West regarding a special occasion such as Valentine’s Day. Hence, commemorating that special day known as the Valentine’s Day is an innovation or bid`ah that has no religious backing. Every innovation of that kind is rejected, as far as Islam is concerned. Islam requires all Muslims to love one another all over the whole year, and reducing the whole year to a single day is totally rejected.

Hence, we Muslims ought not to follow in the footsteps of such innovations and superstitions that are common in what is known as the Valentine’s Day. No doubt that there are many irreligious practices that occur on that day, and those practices are capable of dissuading people from the true meanings of love and altruism to the extent that the celebration is reduced to a moral decline.

Happy Valentine's Day

2007-02-13T12:00:00.000-05:00

Last weekend my husband and I were watching one of those cooking competition shows. The chefs were creating edible works of art out of chocolate. I looked at my husband and said,

” Wow!!loook at that!! Pay attention, this is a good show to get ideas for a present or surprise for your lovely wife on Valentine’s Day.”

His facial expression froze and he stared at me blankly. He didn’t respond for a few seconds and just looked at me with an open mouth until I just had to laugh. Seeing his discomfort I continued his torment and said,

”By the way, that reminds me…can you pick up our camera from Best Buy before Valentine’s Day. I would love for you to take a picture of me as I receive my surprise. You don’t want to miss that, do you?”

He sat there motionless with no expression. I was able to detect his eyes slightly focusing on some distant point. Was I seeing a desperate attempt to formulate a plan or think of a surprise or had he been so overwhelmed with foreboding that he was going into shock?
I decided I to resusitate him,

“Relax baby. How about a poem or a nice love letter like the ones you used to write me. It’s been a while since you did that.”

I could see him relax and the terror leaving him. He returned to normal a few minutes later.
It made me wonder what had happened to the man I first met. He didn’t seem to have any problems expressing his romantic feelings then, but then again he managed to keep his hair cut also, unlike now. Here is a note from a Valentine’s Day past:

They shared a few silent moments before the train pulled up to the platform. He glanced into her eyes and wondered what thoughts she was thinking as she looked out across the tracks. They boarded the train and she headed to the rear of the car taking a seat behind a partition that was part of the drivers station when the car was in the lead. She told him that this was her favorite spot . The tinted glass separated the two from the rest of the morning commuters. Behind it they were alone with each other. Sitting this close to her he could smell the
fragrance of her hair and feel the closeness of her body next to his. This was now his favorite spot too, he thought. They shared candies and talked, nervously at first, but more comfortably as each station passed. The comings and goings of the people that entered and left the train went unheeded by him as he sat bewitched by her. He loved the sound of the little gasp of air she made when she first recalled a memory from her homeland. He wanted to know everything about her, but was enjoying how they each unravelled little bits of themselves to each other slowly. With each new revelation he adjusted his image of her and it always got better. He could tell she was genuine, that in her was a kindness that he admired. He wanted to take her by the hand and never let go, but didn’t. It would happen, he was sure, but he wanted it to develop slowly and sure. The strength of the connection would be
enhanced if he was patient and took in all the little things, he thought. He remembered everything. Each look. Every smile. The kiss on the cheek and the warm embrace she had given him after their first date. The sight of her hurrying down the street as she left him for work that same night and the wave she gave him as she turned back to look at him before she entered the building. He didn’t want to overlook any of this, he thought, as he sat next to her. All of these impressions were burned into his memory. When he was not with her he wrapped himself in them. She asked him what he was thinking, but he just smiled and quietly said, “nothing”.

Dangerous Ideas

2007-01-30T10:40:00.000-05:00

Whenever I mention my former boss and the thoughtful things he does for his wife and family my husband just rolls his eyes. He says my boss makes it hard for every other husband because he must be so in touch with his feminine side to come up with all those ideas. He makes the rest of the husbands look bad to their wives. My husband likes to keep the expectations low and says my boss gives us wives dangerous ideas. For this reason I was shocked when my husband mentioned this to me the other night.

Husband,” Do you think it would be fun to invite a few couples over once a month for a book club? I was thinking of getting Natasha and Jeff and maybe another couple or two. We could decide on a book to read and then get together and discuss it over a dinner or cocktails?

Moi,”HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHHA.."

Husband,” What is wrong with that?”

Moi,” oh sorry, you’re serious?”

Husband,” forget it”

Moi,” Oh my God noo…I really think it is a great idea.”

Husband,” It's not too gay?”

Moi,” How is that gay?”

Husband, “ Not homosexual gay…fourth grade not cool gay.”

Moi, “Not at all. Can I pick the first book?"

Husband,”Sure”

Moi,” Cooking with Rachel Ray...hahahahha”

Husband, “never mind”

A Few Things You Don't Know About Me

2007-01-26T16:17:00.001-05:00

Massir tagged me to share 5 things that you don’t know about me. Here are a few.

I hate flossing, and sometimes I throw some floss in the garbage so my husband thinks that I do it.

I dream a lot and sometimes confuse my dreams with reality. Recently I dreamt that I bought a car for my mom. In another dream I was in a kosher market. Don’t even ask why. I’ve never even been to one although I have seen one on ‘Hogan Knows Best’. I bought an Egyptian dish ( Koushari), some Tunisian spices, and a big shark in a giant jar of oil!!!
Sometimes I get mad at my husband for things he does in my dreams.

I killed a cat by accident years ago.
I took a bath every morning before going to school. I used to run the hot water first then turn it off and add the cold. A cat we had was sitting on the top of the edge of the tub and fell into the hot water. My mom and I took him to the veterinarian. He lost his hair and was suffering so much. We asked the vet to put him down. I didn’t want to see him suffer. She refused and said that she would only do it if she was sure he was going to die. He died a few days after. It breaks my heart thinking about it to this day.

Sometimes at the end of my bath I will wash some clothes in the tub before I get out.

I would love to have twins one day.

I enjoy sad songs and movies.

This insect scares the hell out of me…I don’t know how I even approached this one for the picture. The cat later ‘played’ with it and wounded it, disturbing me even more.

My husband got a sunburn on his belly button last year. He must have missed that area with the sun block. I have pictures, but they are too disturbing to post.

I am a 57 year old male CIA analyst who spends too much time pretending to be a Tunisian girl.

Update:
Leilouta exposed

Humane Safety Measures For the Protection of the Citizenry Announced

2007-01-19T09:56:00.000-05:00

Finally Iran has taken steps to control their bloggers following in the footsteps of Egypt and Tunisia. Rampant criticism from our ungrateful citizens is damaging our governments efforts to provide for us.Unlike America where every citizen can spew their uneducated theories, our leaders know the value of promoting the correct truth.These measures will make us safe,secure, and prosperous while protecting us from dangerous ideas.

Cat Update

2007-01-18T12:31:00.000-05:00

The cat is fine. I took care of him for about a year and a half and brought him back to its owner. It’s a complicated story.
I love cats and I am planning on adopting a kitten one day, but I will give my husband a break for a while. He is not cat people. He has been working from home lately and saw the cat all day. He would call me at work and tell me the cat was on the counter. The cat hair and ‘germs’ almost turned him into a Howard Hughes, sitting in the dark mumbling about feline diseases and fleas. He deserves a break.

The Stories I Could Tell

2007-01-17T14:14:00.000-05:00

My one year blogging anniversary is coming soon, but I am unable to write as much as I did when I first started. Back then I had no idea anyone would even read me. I am very private in person and used my blog to say things I wouldn’t talk about to anyone and reveal things about myself that I normally wouldn’t. In the early days I told a few people about my blog which I deeply regret since most of them never even mention it. Recently, I have been very inconsistent with my posting. I have run into a new dilemma. I have stories to tell but I can’t because the people I told about my blog may read it. That is not to say I would be slamming them but it would make for uncomfortable situations.

I would love to talk about my coworker who talks nonstop and tires the hell out of me with her adventures while trying to find a man, but as I have gotten to know her she has turned out to be a very thoughtful and caring person. I would love to talk about a very interesting conversation I had about the Americans being behind the Saddam’s death on the Eid, but I feel uncomfortable as well since the person knows about my blog. They have never mentioned it, but I can’t be sure. I would love to talk about an incident I had with a friend that has me rethinking our relationship, but I cant since I know that they click on my blog once every few months. I would love to talk about one of my husbands ex friends who is a disaster. All of these are great stories that I can’t share online. Where do I draw the line? It’s frustrating. What am I supposed to write about? I haven’t lit myself on fire for a while. The Saudis talking about banning the letter X is almost too stupid to comment about. Hey guys, how about the letters F and U?

I guess I can keep writing about the little incidents that happen to me like what just happened to me a few minutes ago. I waved to my former boss across the hall but got no response. I thought that was odd, so I waved again, more deliberately. As he walked closer I realized it wasn’t my boss. I wanted to die.

Bathroom Humor

2007-01-05T20:18:00.000-05:00

At work our group was moved to some newly renovated space within the building. It is very quiet and comfortable. Since all of us work from home most of the time it was decided that we would all share offices. I share my office with a very nice girl my age. I have fun with her and she makes me laugh most of the time. On the other hand she is so hyper and talks so much that it is hard for me to get much work done. I admit that sometimes when I know she is going to be in the office I choose to work from home.

The other thing about my new office is that we have one of those door size glass windows. It let’s in some nice light, but because we have two desks in the room and there is only one way they can be arranged, my desk faces the window and directly across from us is the men’s restroom for our section.
It has been a month or so since we moved and now I know everybody’s toilet habits. How often they go, how long they stay, what time of day etc.
I always look away or pretend I am very busy when I see a male coworker going to the bathroom. I notice that most of the guys give our office a glance to see if they are being seen. Lately I have noticed one particular coworker who will give a quick glance as he reaches for the door handle to the restroom. If he sees that I am in the office he pulls his hand back and will keep walking down the hall. My guess is that he goes to one of the other two bathrooms in the building. It makes me laugh. I bet he loves it when I work from home and he has nobody watching his bathroom trips.
We had construction workers in the building the other day. One of them obviously didn’t care about who was watching. As soon as I heard the toilet flash, he left the room. There was definitely no time for washing up. Yuk!!

Yesterday as I was leaving my office for a meeting in the conference room next door, a male coworker opened the bathroom’s door aggressively.We only had a few minutes before the start of the meeting and my guess was that he was trying to rush to the bathroom so he could be in the meeting on time. I heard a scream as soon as he opened the door. He closed the door very quickly and made a face. I smiled back at him. In the meeting I was sitting with the man who was using the bathroom and the one who opened the door on him,plus another male coworker that I’ve never seen use the bathroom. I couldn’t stop smiling and was giggling inside. I felt bad for the guy who was in the bathroom, so to make him feel better I decided to tell a story about one of my own bathroom experiences. I told him how once when I was getting ready for work at my summer job I went to the bathroom to change into my uniform. For some reason I took all my clothes off, and before putting my uniform on I had to go. I was already naked so I thought it made sense to just use the toilet the way I was and then put my uniform on.
A customer entered the bathroom while I was sitting naked on the toilet. I screamed at the top of my lungs and the person run out of the restroom. I think I spent another 30 minutes in the bathroom just to make sure that woman left the building. After I told the story the guys just smiled politely and then I got uncomfortable and embarrassed.

As I was watching TV that night with my husband, I started laughing as I remembered the days events. My husband of course asked me what I was laughing about and I told him the whole incident.
His first response was,”Nice job!! You started the meeting off by giving those guys a mental picture of you naked.”
Me,”What?!!! Are you serious?? OMG, you're right! No wonder they just sat there !!!”

Happy New Year

2007-01-01T00:28:00.000-05:00

Here is my wish list of things I hope I won’t see and some resolutions for 2007:

This is the year my diet will take. No, really. I promise…

People driving slow in the left lane while talking on their cell phones. Speed up or hang up!

Coworkers asking me on Monday what my plans are for the following weekend.

No more rioting and killing over cartoons.

Celebrity Vaginas…Seriously girls..two words…Victoria Secret!

Guys who use toothpicks in public.Yuk.

People who blame America for everything. There must be one problem in the world not caused by America. I know we can find one in 2007.

Blogs that are censored or bloggers getting arrested.

Conspiracy theories… If Americans are so dumb, how could they pull off 911? Also, executing Saddam on the Eid…again, if Americans don’t care or are so ignorant about other cultures how could they be so smart in sending a message by executing Saddam on … oh never mind

Peace, Health, and Good Shopping in 07

Happy Eid El Kbir

2006-12-29T22:03:00.000-05:00

We used to buy our sheep a week before the Eid El Kbir. My brothers and I would play with him and watch him eat. After a few years I stopped spending time with the sheep and refused to take care of him. I didn’t even want to see him alive. I refused because I knew what his fate would be a few days later. His head would be cut off on the same spot where we played with him and fed him. I love animals and didn’t want to get used to one, and then eat his meat.

Unfortunately, I witnessed the killing of the sheep one year. I must’ve been 6 of 7 years old. A man came to our house early in the morning to cut its head off. I remember the head dropping on the grass and the body jerking around. It scared me to death and for years after that I refused to go downstairs or near the backyard until many hours after the butcher had left.
Once I heard that the butcher was at our home to do his job I would go to the farthest room in the house from the backyard, lock myself in, and press my hands against my ears. I didn’t want to hear my brothers, father, and the rest of the family talking about the lamb or if he was killed yet or not. I didn’t want to hear any of the sounds coming from the backyard. I felt so bad for the sheep.
I would sit in that room and wonder why we were killing an animal in our yard to celebrate the fact that a prophet was willing to sacrifice his own child to God. I imagined myself being held down and my father coming toward me to sacrifice me. At that moment I was almost relieved that the sheep was in the yard to take my place.While I was concentrating on these deep theological fantasies the headless body of the sheep was hanging from the railing on our back porch.

After the blood drained the men would skin it and the women would start cleaning the intestines and making sausages. The head was burned to remove the hair then put in a pot to cook. The smell filled up the whole house and was unbearable. Finally, my father would make me come down to eat. We would grill some cutlets with spices and eat it right away. I have to admit that I loved the meat. It was delicious, but I still felt guilty eating it. I couldn’t help but picture the living sheep walking in our garden. The other women spent the rest of the day cleaning and preparing the food and we gave a large portion of the sheep to a poor neighbor.

Happy Eid!

Merry Christmas

2006-12-22T20:48:00.000-05:00

I was very lucky when I was growing up to be able to celebrate both Muslim and Christian holidays. For Christmas, my brothers and I used to make our own decorations for the Christmas tree with the help of my mother. Since my mom only knew of one store that sold Christmas ornaments, we didn’t have a lot so whatever we found for the tree I thought was awesome. My mother loved Christmas. She used to play with her American friends in the Christmas choir at church, and my last memories of Christmas with her was designing the program for her last recital. That day she sang and played the piano. She was really excited with the design and bragged about her daughter around her friends. I was embarrassed at the time and just wanted to crawl away. At the end of the show everybody was applauding her and thanking her. She was looking at me and I was smiling at her. I never appreciated her musical skills until that day.
Almost everyone in Tunisia is Muslim, so I didn’t really get the full Christmas vibe until I moved to the US. I remember my first year here. I was alone, and barely spoke English. I remember taking the bus one day, looking out the window, and being amazed by all the decorations. The houses, the malls, the small stores were so brightly lit. It looked so happy and festive and at the time I was so lonely and depressed. I had a Jordanian English teacher who I loved and was really nice. She asked me if I was going home for Christmas and I said no. She looked really sad and told me that she felt sorry for me and she wished me a happy holiday. She then invited me to spend Christmas with her family.
It has been a while since then. Now I understand what my mother was feeling at Christmas and I love this time of year.

**************************************

I’ve been participating in the Secret Santa at work the past couple of years. Usually it is a great experience. You get a present from a coworker without knowing who the giver is.
After receiveing the gift I liked to think about who the person was and what possessed them to get me my gift. One year I got the exact same gift that I gave!
We had our Christmas lunch yesterday. I am sure most people didn’t get any work done. All the conversations were about Christmas shopping etc. The lunch was really great. We all gathered in the cafeteria. There was music, candles, Christmas decorations, a chef with waitresses, shrimp, mashed potatoes, turkey, rice, and Asian dishes. After lunch we went to the lobby where the tree is, and everybody opened their presents. Guess what? I was the only one whose present was not present. I was told that the coworker that had my name was a part time worker and that she would arrive with my gift around 4 p.m that day. I met her in the printer room around 4:30. She recognized me and told me that she was so sorry but she thought the gift exchange was the following day. I guess that’s why Santa needs help from all those elves.

This is one of my most favorite ornaments that my mother in-law made. We have it on our tree and I think it is so lovely. It is made out of a light bulb!!!

Preparing For Battle

2006-12-21T09:36:00.000-05:00

Iraqi soldiers eat frogs, rabbit at handover ceremony

Politicians, tribal and religious leaders and soldiers watched displays of military prowess and one demonstration, hailed as a display of courage, in which five soldiers stopped before the grandstand to bite the heads off frogs.

A sixth holding a live rabbit slit open its stomach and ate its heart before tossing the carcass to his comrades to chew on.

A spokeman for the unit said they are now prepared to defend against the insurgent cat army.

After I'm Gone

2006-12-19T18:13:00.000-05:00

My friend sent this to me.

Husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks the question.

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course I do."

WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"

HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look)

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)

WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"

HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE:"Would you let her drive my car?"

HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with
hers?"

HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do"

WIFE: "Would you give her my jewelry?"

HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."

WIFE: "Would you take her golfing with you?

HUSBAND: "Yes, those are always good times."

WIFE: "Would she use my clubs?

HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."

WIFE: -- silence --

HUSBAND: "shit."

I’ll Have The Cake Please

2006-12-18T21:59:00.000-05:00

I recently went to my gynecologist for my yearly checkup. I asked her if I needed a mammography. She said I did not. She told me she advises woman to have them starting at age 35. Then she ‘felt something’ while examining my right breast, and told me I should get an exam just to make sure. She tried to convince me that it was nothing and probably just a harmless lump or cyst and that it would take care of itself and disappear. It happens in 80% of the cases, she said. I left her office and walked in a daze to my car. When I sat down tears started running down my cheeks. I tried really hard to keep them from coming, but there were so many that I couldn’t control them. I don’t know if I was upset that I might have something now or just thinking that someday I would have to face a doctor telling me that I did have a problem. I was thinking how fragile our bodies are. Then I thought about the day my mother found out that she had cancer and I tried to imagine her feelings at that moment. She didn’t share the news with anyone. I found out about it the following day from her doctor when she went in for an operation. The day before her operation she acted very normal. The only thing that I noticed about her was she was not reading her books while she was sitting in the garden, as she usually did. She was just sitting there thinking. I went to her with my petty whining about something someone said to me, and she was as understanding and calming as usual.

By the time I went for my mammography appointment I was feeling at peace. Outwardly I was not worried, but I think deep down I was. During the interval I was unconsciously trying to avoid everybody. Everybody was getting on my nerves including my husband. I didn’t feel like doing anything around the house, and wasn’t up to blogging either. I almost snapped at a coworker when I was asked on a Monday what my plans for the next weekend were. When I woke up on the morning of the test I started thinking seriously about the ‘what ifs’. As I was putting my clothes on I stared thinking about death and diseases. What if I did have something? What if it was advanced? What if I was dying and didn’t even know it? I didn’t want to experience what my mom experienced and I definitely didn’t think I could handle it now. I am too young, I thought, and haven't accomplished anything yet.

Since I was going to the lab, I decided to finally fill my large urine jug and drop it off at the lab, which was in the same building as my mammography. My appointment was at two, but I arrived 15 minutes beforehand, so I didn’t have time to drop it off. I went to the mammography with my large jug of urine in my hand. I tried covering it with a plastic bag, which made me look more ridiculous.

While waiting for my turn in the lab's waiting room, I kept busy with a woman's magazine. An article with the title " Widower at the age of 36 " caught my attention.

It was a story about a husband who lost his wife at an early age. He shared his feelings about how he coped with his wife’s death. At the end of the story, he mentioned that he had a new girlfriend 6 months after his wife’s death. I thought that was horrible. How could he talk about how much he missed her and how hard everything was to him when he had no problem having a new girlfriend 6 months after her death? I thought about my husband. What if I happen to die soon? Would he replace me that easily and that fast? Now I wanted to live just so no other woman takes my place. I was saved from these crazy thoughts when my name was called. I was asked if they pronounced my name right? I didn’t care how they pronounced my name. Call me Lee la, Lie la, whatever you want, just tell me that I am healthy. I stood and took my large jug of urine with me from the waiting room and walked toward a tiny changing room. It was slightly embarrassing and everybody was looking at my large jug of urine. It is a lab, I thought, get over it.

The technician took me to the tiny room and asked me to take my shirt and bra off and wait. She would come and get me for the test. I waited for another 10 minutes telling myself that I was fine.

Just when I started to think bad thoughts the technician returned and took me to the testing room. She took the images of my breasts. She asked me to go back to the tiny room but not to put my clothes back on just in case the doctor needed more photos. She added that might take 5 to 20 minutes depending on the doctor’s availability. So I waited thinking she would not call me back. I was sure I was fine and those photos were enough. Ten minutes later she came to me and asked me to go back with her for some more photos.She told me to wait again until she talked to the doctor. I waited again in the tiny room with my shirt off. She came back and said that the doctor wanted to do a sonogram. I ask her why. She said that the doctor spotted something but was not sure what it was, and the sonogram would show if it was anything.

I was asked to wait in the tiny room again, so I just sat and began making plans in case I was told that I had something. My first thought was to quit my job, and spend time with my loved ones. I would go to the beach. I thought about my husband and decided I would go right home after the test and make him cookies. I don’t know why I thought that. Finally, the technician came back and told me it was nothing. I was healthy. She said other stuff but I don’t remember after that.

I was so relieved and happy. I went back to the receptionist to make sure I was done and they didn’t need anything else from me. She said no and then asked me if I had my parking ticket with me. I was not very focused at that moment and looked confused. Parking ticket? Yes, do you have your parking ticket for me to validate? I just looked at her. She raised her arms and pretended like she was driving. She must have thought I did not understand her English or something. She told me to go back to my car and get the ticket. I went to the car carrying my large jug of urine and got the ticket. I decided to go to the lab first to drop off my urine. Luckily there was no line and I was the only patient in the room. I finally handed my large jug of urine to the receptionist at the lab. He took my papers and then his cell phone rang. He answered and was busy for a few minutes with the phone. When his phone conversation ended, he asked me to hand him the papers. I looked at his hand that was holding my papers and didn’t say anything. He said, “Oh yea what am I thinking, sorry I got them”. I couldn’t help myself and said “Hey , I hope you don’t mix my urine with anyone else. I don’t want to get a false positive.” I don’t think he found that funny, but I did not care. All I cared about was getting home and making cookies and kissing my husband. But before I could do that I had to validate my ticket, I couldn’t do it at the lab because there was a big sign in the room that said “ We do not validate”.

Okay, I thought to myself, I have to go back to the sixth floor to the pantomime woman and get my parking ticket validated there. I took the elevator to the sixth floor. I felt so free because I wasn’t carrying a large jug of urine. I gave her my parking ticket without saying a word.

She gave me back another card and I said thank you and got ready to leave when she shouted “No, no no, put that card in your shower. It is a breast exam guide.” I looked at the card she just gave me and smiled. I waited for her to validate my parking ticket as she explained to me how to do a breast exam in the shower. She talked very loud and slowly. I just nodded. Finally, I was able to leave. I must’ve spent 2 hours in the building and I took that elevator 5 times. I went back and forth to the car about 3 times. I noticed during this whole dilemma that I was the youngest person there.There were so many older people in wheel chairs, some very frail and weak who had trouble walking. Others had big bandages on different parts of their bodies. Life is so fragile.

Overwhelmed by emotions and thoughts, I decided to go to the closest mall and walk around before heading home. I just walked around daydreaming about my life, and being thankful everything had turned out okay. I felt so light and peaceful. I stopped by a coffee shop, ordered a latte and a big piece of cake. I never buy sweets, and I’ve not been into sweets for the past few years, but I thought, what the hell. I was going to have a piece of cake with this latte. I am never going to keep myself from a piece of cake again.

American Occupation Of The Moon

2006-12-05T18:21:00.000-05:00

HOUSTON, Texas (CNN) -- NASA's plans for returning people to the moon -- an objective called for by President Bush in 2004 -- includes establishing a permanent outpost that would be used to prepare for a manned trip to Mars.

Predictions:

One week after the establishment of the moonbase the American media will declare the moon effort a quagmire.

The European Union will complain that the USA is using 100% of the moon’s resources.

Commentators on El Jazeera will report the moon is controlled by the Jews.

China will provide the moonbase with cheap lawn furniture and televisions.

Tunisia will not comment on the moonbase.

Former American Vice President Al Gore will claim to have invented the moonbase.

The President of Iran will announce the development of a weapon that will destroy the moonbase.

Polonium 210 will be found on the moonbase.

Britney, Lindsay, and Paris will receive severe radiation burns after exposing themselves to the direct rays of the sun at Club Moon.

Future Airport

2006-12-03T00:06:00.000-05:00

Airport officials said Friday they will consider setting aside a private area for prayer and meditation at the request of imams concerned about the removal of six Muslim clerics from a US Airways flight last week.
Steve Wareham, director of Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport, said other airports have "meditation rooms" used for prayers or by passengers who simply need quiet time.

This might require some architectural changes to the nation's airports.

Other travellers who need to be in constant contact with the almighty can use these new shuttles.

Be Afraid.Be Very Afraid

2006-12-02T00:00:00.000-05:00

If you see any of these horrors getting out of a car, run.

Whose Counting?

2006-11-28T18:37:00.000-05:00

Moi,”Hi”

Husband,”Hi”

Moi,”How are you?”

Him,”Ok”

Moi,”I am thinking about cooking a Chinese dish tonight”

Him,”Ok”

Moi,”what are you doing?”

Husband,” Working.”

Moi,”Should I use chicken or beef?”

Husband,”ok”

Moi,:”OK what? I asked you if you wanted chicken or beef”

Husband,” whatever you want baby”

Moi,”Aaaaaaaah can you ever write a whole sentence? It is always either yes or no or ok…you don’t care about what I say.”

Husband, ”no”

Moi,:” NO what????? You are not listening to me…Seriously I miss how you used to pay attention to every small detail that I ever said while we were dating. Now you don’t even know what I am talking about most of the time.”

Him,”really?”

Moi,” What are you doing?”

Him,” working”

Moi,” How come I am always the one who starts IM-ing first. You never do that and it would really make my day if it started with a message from you. It would show me how you feel about me.”

Him,” well, I turn on the IM in the morning….doesn’t that tell you that I care?”

Moi, “ are you serious?”

Him, “ yes, why do you think I turn it on….”

Moi, “So you can talk to your brother.”

Him,” no”

Moi,” Can you just make a whole sentence for heaven’s sake?”

Him, “http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=419040&in_page_id=1879”

Moi,” Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? Are you saying I talk too much?”

Him,”no, it sez men don’t say too much“

Moi,” Right. You really think I talk too much, don’t you?”

Him,”no”

Moi,” Sure!! You know what? I don’t have anybody else to talk to. You’re the person who I talk to more than anybody else. I don’t even talk that much with other people.
Haven’t you noticed that? I am usually very quiet. I don’t have anything smart to talk about, that is why I try not to embarrass myself in front of others and keep my mouth shut. Really I am serious. I can’t believe you!!! My God!! If you think I talk too much, what about my coworker…..do you think she does? She speaks like she has a cd player in her throat. She never stops. It is always blahablabalbah....my dog, blah blah blah…my job….blahblahblah my dream man, my lunch blahblabalh… and you’re telling me I talk too much. Seriously, unbelievable!!!!!

Him,”ok”

Update:

My husband has had a few drinks tonite and is very talkative. Maybe they should do a study about who talks more when under the influence.

Hello? Can I Speak With Leilouta Please?

2006-11-28T18:32:00.000-05:00

Here is a good idea for dealing with telemarketers.

Anti-War Activists Plan 'Global Orgasm For Peace'

2006-11-20T12:31:00.000-05:00

Two peace activists have planned a massive anti-war demonstration for the first day of winter.
But they don't want you marching in the streets. They'd much rather you just stay home.
The Global Orgasm for Peace was conceived by Donna Sheehan, 76, and Paul Reffell, 55, whose immodest goal is for everyone in the world to have an orgasm Dec. 22 while focusing on world peace.
"The orgasm gives out an incredible feeling of peace during it and after it," Reffell said Sunday. "Your mind is like a blank. It's like a meditative state. And mass meditations have been shown to make a change."

The possiblities for the 'day after' headlines are limitless.....

Anti War Rally Ends in Frustration
Premature End to Anti War Rally
Activist's Quit Rally - Cite Work
Sharp Rise in Smoking as All War Ends

Now She Won't Be Quiet

2006-11-20T00:30:00.000-05:00

A friend of my mother’s was in town last week for a visit. She helped me so much when my mom was sick and I could not have gotten through all that without her. I was eager to ask her about my mom and the memories she had of her. We didn’t have the chance to talk a lot about her since she brought her adorable granddaughter with her, but she told me this story that my mom had told her years ago. When I was in school my kindergarten teacher told my mother she was concerned about me because I never spoke in class. She told her that I might not make it to first grade if I didn’t make an effort to speak. During the Spring Break of that year my mother kept telling me that I had to speak up in class, because in first grade they expected you to talk. While driving me to school the first day back from vacation, I asked my mother if we were going to kindergarten or first grade. When she told me kindergarten, I responded, “Good, I don’t have to talk yet.”

Short Stories

2006-11-18T01:18:00.000-05:00

I went to the French restaurant "Le Bistro Du Coin" last week. The food was great, but the seats and tables were too close to each other and the place was really crowded.
A woman who was sitting behind me tapped me on my shoulder. I turned to her, we talked for a few seconds, and I turned back to my table embarrassed. Everyone at my table were staring at me waiting for me to tell them what the woman said. I said smiling," she said that my hair was bothering her."

What did she expect me to do? Cut it? At least there were no candles in the restaurant.

**********

My husband an I were driving the other day in downtown DC and when we stopped at a red light, I noticed that a pedestrian didn’t notice the walk signal had changed.. He was too busy playing with his IPod or phone. I know that feeling of waiting forever till the lights turns. I wanted to be nice and help him, so I rolled the windows down and yelled to him," IT’S WHITE! IT’S WHITE”. My husband looked at me like I was crazy. Just then I noticed the guy was black. What an idiot!!!

**********

I took a picture of this mannequin the other day at the mall.
Are they trying to say that with these pants you can squat over a Tunisian toilet?

This needs no comment.

**********

I went to the bank to close an account and the teller kept asking me questions before proceeding with my request.

"Why do you want to close to your account?"

“Where is your new account?”

"What does that other bank offer you that we don’t?"

"Do you know our benefits?"

"Do you have a business"?

Aaaaaaaaah.They almost guilted me into staying. I almost felt like I should have been apologizing to them for even considering leaving.

**********

I spent a whole day with my mom’s friend, her granddaughter and my husband in the living room talking and playing with the kid. Everything was neat and clean and I almost had forgotten how kids manage to make a mess. This girl tore everything apart and asked me a million questions. I had so much fun with her and she made me laugh a lot. She disappeared in the closet for about 20 minutes and all we could hear was shuffling noises. She was trying on on all my shoes.I kept the place as she left it for 3 days to remember her. I miss her and I wish she lived nearby so I could babysit her.

**********

I was disappointed to learn that another “North African” blogger has been censored by a certain “North African” country…

Sorry I haven't Posted In A While

2006-11-14T09:04:00.000-05:00

If I could think of something to write maybe I would have made this list.

"I forgot my password..."

"I've just been so damn busy at work, and tired, and sick, and pregnant."

"I haven't posted in awhile and still really don't have much to say. "

"I haven't posted in awhile (that's kinda self-evident, but don't all bloggers make a point to say something like "i haven't blogged in awhile" or "sorry, i've been busy" when they haven't blogged in a while...i am just following the blog rules!)."

"Sometimes it can be exhaustingly overwhelming to say what you think, which is why I haven't posted in awhile."

"The reason...extreme working. "

"I just don't enjoy it as much as I convince myself I do"

"I tried to post, I really did. I even have some started and saved as drafts. But, I didn't feel that I had much to say. I'm not pregnant, I'm without faith, life sucks, job is starting to feel stagnant, Sean and I are bickering back and forth for the past two weeks about the stupidest things."

"I just haven't found the need to express my thoughts for the whole world to see lately."

"Wow it seems like every other post I'm apologizing for not posting in awhile... hmmm... anywho... sorry I haven't posted in awhile: have been busy."

Hannibal Leilouta

2006-11-10T20:34:00.000-05:00

....My face bra arrives looking more like something you'd expect to buy in a fetish shop. The contents include a container that looks like a baby's feeding bottle, a vile smelling jar of chalk, a huge pink elastic band and the face bra — which, in reality, is nothing like a bra and consists of two swatches of bandage which you could buy from Boots for about £2.

It's recommended that you wear the face bra for 40 minutes a day for the first week and then reduce the sessions to 20 minutes each. It's not designed to wear in bed - presumably because your face might get squashed as you toss and turn.

My eyes light up when I read the instructions, which ask: 'Are you sorry that you didn't use sunscreen? That you smoked and drank too much and slept too little? Scrambling for the magic powder that will bring your skin and body back?' Yes! Yes! Yes!

But my heart sank when I read the next line: 'The face bra doesn't do this.' Oh. Talk about building you up to knock you down. Apparently, while it won't turn back time, the face bra will deeply cleanse my skin, open up the pores and allow me to age gracefully, and I can wear it as often as I like - whoopee.

First I have to rinse the pieces of the bra - call me pedantic, but for 49 quid I'd rather hoped they would arrive clean and ready for use. Not only do the pieces of the face bra resemble old ladies' surgical stockings, they smell like it too.

The instructions come in 12 baffling stages, and I frowned so much trying to fathom them that I must have aged another year in the process. Eventually, I had the face bra on and looked as though I'd been the victim of an accident at a chemical plant.

I then had to baste my face 'like a turkey' every 15 minutes with the paste that I must mix using the chalky powder provided. The instructions helpfully explain that the paste is also safe to eat and drink, which is no good to anybody because once your face is bound up in the bra you can't open your mouth.

The instructions say to wear the mask several times a day in the first week and then only once or twice a week after that. I could manage just 40 minutes the first time I wore the mask and couldn't wait to tear the wretched thing off and breathe normally again.

By day three, I was ready to wear the mask overnight to see the effect. But I had to remove it in the early hours as my cheeks felt like they were on fire and the frayed pieces from the bandages were tickling my neck. On the fifth day, I wore the face bra all night and nearly missed my friend's wedding as I didn't hear the alarm because my ears were covered.

At the end of the week I looked in the mirror and found that my skin looked worse than ever. Compressing my great big hamster cheeks for hours at a time had caused my nose-to-mouth lines to look deeper than before. Plus, I'd developed a nasty heat rash under my chin.

Anyone who invests in the face bra is making a massive boob. In my years I've encountered many useless anti-ageing products. The face bra is literally money for old rope.

I once put rollers in my hair to see how I would look with curly hair. I decided to wear them to bed. Even though I was really tired I couldn’t fell asleep, the rollers were so uncomfortable. They kept digging into my skull, and I couldn’t lay still on the mattress. My husband was complaining that he was getting freaked out because he said his mother still does the roller thing and he didn't want to see that in his own bed. I can just imagine his reaction if I wore the face bra to bed. Hannibal Leilouta!

Clean Up Aisle 4

2006-11-10T00:07:00.000-05:00

Purehoneytounis’s husband decided to make a sandwich at night before going to bed. He did it all by himself. The following morning this is what his wife found!!

I bought this pretty green plate so my husband could use it to throw his keys on as he came home. This is what it looked like the first day.

This is how it looked a few days later.

Calm Down

2006-11-08T10:05:00.000-05:00

I have to admit that I sometimes loose concentration while eating or drinking and end up choking, coughing and almost dying in rare cases. My husband is so used to these incidents that he doesn’t take them seriously anymore. We were eating lunch together in the cafeteria at work one day and coworkers would stop by to say hello while they were getting their coffee. While laughing at a remark and trying to swallow at the same time I choked on a piece of bread. I started coughing uncontrollably, my face almost turned blue as I was fighting to clear my throat. My husband was looking at me very calmly eating his meal like everything was fine.After a few seconds he couldn’t take it anymore. He patted me on the back gently and whispered,” calm down.”.
A few weeks ago at home, after shoving a piece of food into my mouth I noticed that one of my long hairs was stuck in my throat. The hair, still attached to my head, had stuck to the food as it went into my mouth. As I tried to fish out the hair from my throat I ran to my husband who was sitting in front of the computer. I couldn’t talk, I was very scared, and my mouth was drooling. I looked at my husband with despair. For the first few seconds he just looked at me like I was insane. He then said,”calm down”.
The latest incident happened a few days ago.
I think I must have been frustrated at that time, by work or something, and I put all my frustration and anger into chewing. My poor tongue ended up paying the price. I bit into it like I have never done before. It is still uncomfortable to eat, especially salty foods, so I am stuck with ice cream which I don’t care for that much

I also had to alter the way I talk at home to my husband so my teeth don’t touch the part of my tongue that is hurt. I have been struggling to come up with blog posts lately so I asked my husband yesterday,” whaa caa I white abaa in ma blaag ( what can I write about in my blog?)
He answered without hesitation,” Write about how retarded you sound!

What Do You Know About Women in Islam?

2006-11-08T09:24:00.000-05:00

I guess I know my Islamic woman. All my answers were correct eventhough I am not convinced about some of these answers, especially the inheritance one.

أنصر أخاك ظالما أو مظلوما

2006-11-07T12:33:00.000-05:00

I grew up hearing this Arab saying,"أنصر أخاك ظالما أو مظلوما" it means something like this" stick with your brother if he is the Oppressor or the Oppressed." I never understood that, and it confused me a little. On the one hand we were taught to be fair and on the other hand given permission to cover up a person’s mistakes, if they were your people. I remember an older friend of my father asking me what I would do if my brother killed somebody and was going to be hanged and I had the chance to blame an innocent person to save my brother. I was young and I answered with tears in my eyes, "Well I can't lie, I don't want my brother to die, but he did the crime and an innocent person shouldn't be punished for it." The man looked at me with anger and said," Are you crazy? You're willing to sacrifice your brother?"
I remembered this story while reading some posts and comments about the Saddam verdict.

"Yes he was a bad man, but he is the only Arab leader who stood up against the Americans".

Instead of having Arab Pride in this despicable human, maybe we should ask ourselves why us Arabs weren’t strong enough to get rid of him, or how easily he bought our favor by throwing money around to our favorite cause.

Tunisia Joins Elite Club

2006-11-07T09:37:00.000-05:00

24 hours against Internet censorship launched, list of the 13 Internet enemies in 2006 published
7.11.2006 - Reporters Without Borders publishes its annual list of countries that most suppress online free expression and launches its campaign : 24 hours against Internet censorship.

Progressive Libya was removed from the list this year.

The Haunted Forest

2006-10-30T00:51:00.000-05:00

I had a friend in high school who used to invite me to her house to watch movies. I loved most of her choices except the horror films. Horror movies were her favorite and I always made sure to call her beforehand to see if she was planning on watching one. I still don’t watch horror movies.

I love forensic shows though, and I watch Dr 90210 sometimes, but I always cover my eyes when they show the surgery. Usually I look away too late and the picture stays in my mind for a while.

Last year I watched a tv show that was about autopsies. The one I watched was about a young man who died from choking on his own vomit. Watching the whole show freaked me out. I couldn’t sleep that night, and kept looking at my body and my husband wondering how it was inside and how fragile our lives were. I had the images of the autopsy in my mind for months, and it just made me scared of everything. Every time I was upset or worried about the smallest things in life I would just picture that autopsy again in my mind and think everything is ok as long as I don’t go through that.

I heard from coworkers that the movie Saw 3 was out and that they couldn’t wait to watch it. I have no desire to watch it and I can’t believe people go to watch those kind of movies.

Why do they torture themselves like that. The only scary thing that I allowed myself to do this year was going to the haunted forest.

My friend has been telling me about these Halloween events for the past few years and I finally agreed to go with her to one of them.

The haunted forest was outside DC in the middle of nowhere. We had to drive for an hour off the main highway to get there. When we arrived I noticed that everything was very dark and you could see the stars so clearly in the sky. We parked, paid the admission, and entered. There were huge fires burning, surrounded by bales of hay to sit on. Loud music was playing and an announcer summoned ticket holders to the front to await their turn. We hung out under the stars by the fire and awaited.

Then we were called to the entrance and given a warning. A scary looking old man told us it was not too late to get a refund and leave. He looked at me and my friend and said that we didn’t seem like the type that could endure what we were about to experience. We laughed at him and said we would have no problem. He took our ticket and we entered the first door which took us into a field we had to walk across to get to the real entrance to the haunted forest. I noticed that the music was covering some really awful noises coming from within the forest. I could hear screams and I saw flashes of light coming from deep within the trees. I wouldn’t say I was nervous, but I was getting a little creeped out and I was also getting cold. Of course my shoes were inappropriate for the occasion, and my husband made a point of telling me in front of everyone how warm he was because he knows how to dress for any weather. Suddenly out of the dark, a man approached us and issued a warning. “You still have time to leave.”

I looked around and my eyes were starting to play tricks on me in the dark. I am not used to forests and certainly not ones with screams and flashes of light in the distance. I was starting to get some serious second thoughts about the whole thing when a spooky girl dressed in a white dress opened the huge scary gate and told us to enter… The nightmare had begun.

I thought we would be walking into the forest but we entered a tiny little room. There were flashing lights and bones all over. I started screaming immediately. My husband was pulling my arm and saying “Come On…Let’s go…this way”, I didn’t want to move.

I felt something touch my shoulder, I looked up and saw a bony hand on me. I screamed and stumbled towards my husband who was standing at the far door. When I walked out I breathed a sigh of relief, just then a man jumped out from behind the door towards me. I almost ran over my husband to get away from him, but we were now in the forest and it was dark and only lit by little candles to mark the path. I grabbed a hold of my husband’s hand and he led us forward. He was laughing very hard as he led us down the path. I was taking tiny little steps and looking around in the dark . As we walked farther down the path people came out of the dark to startle us. I tried to convince myself that I was not afraid, but each time I screamed. My husband laughed. We came to an unlit shack and I refused to go inside. My husband pulled my arm saying we had to go through it to continue. It was pitch black inside, and the hall was narrow. I couldn’t see anything and we had to feel our way by touching the wall. A dark figure entered the door behind us. The hall was not straight and took turns in each direction. I couldn’t see a thing. I just wanted so bad to get out of there. I was pushing my husband forward at the same time I was telling him I couldn’t go on. We finally made it out. After walking some distance in the woods I got some courage and steadied myself. A man approached us with a knife. I told myself it was fake, but he didn’t speak and looked normal, except for the knife. When he got right up to me I couldn’t take it and had to run. I was screaming, “No please, No”, trying to get away from him. I reached my husband who was laughing uncontrollably and we continued on. We passed more horrible scenes but I was in control, until we came to a deserted house. As we approached men ran toward us with chain saws. I lost it. The sound and the smell of those killing machines terrifies me. We ran up onto the porch but were met by another man wielding a chain saw. I yelled, “ NOOOOOOOOOOOO PLEASE” and ran like I was crazy. We (I ) ran down from the porch and were herded by the chain saw men into the final horror. It was a scene of total destruction. It was like a junk yard in hell. Abandoned cars with ghoulish figures, loud noises, and shooting flames. We ran for the exit, but had to pass through a tunnel to get out. It was actually an abandoned bus but I didn’t know that because my eyes were closed and I was crouched behind my friend as we pushed our way forward. When we reached the end I noticed that in the confusion my friend had grabbed a hold of my husband’s hand to make it through. I was holding onto her. My husband said, “Ok you made it”. I was so relieved. I told him that it wasn’t so bad, and he started laughing. We walked to the car and I found my courage.

We weren’t allowed to take pictures inside , so here are a few I took before entering the forest.

Khochkhach

2006-10-30T00:49:00.000-05:00

I enjoyed watching the new Tunisian movie Khochkhach this weekend at the Arabian Nights Film Festival in DC with Natasha, our husbands, and Freedom for Egyptians. I was going to post a review, but I just read Natasha's and it says it all.

Fashion Show

2006-10-28T00:08:00.000-05:00

Lamb Hijab

2006-10-26T23:19:00.000-05:00

“Hilaly criticised women who "sway suggestively", wear make-up and no hijab, or Islamic headscarf, for inviting sexual attack.
"If you take out uncovered meat and place it outside on the street, or in the garden or in the park, or in the back yard without a cover, and the cats come and eat it ... whose fault is it, the cats or the uncovered meat? The uncovered meat is the problem," Hilaly told about 500 worshippers, according to a newspaper translation.”

Uncovered meat isn’t the problem, ‘Senior Muslim Clerics’ are the problem. Maybe they should stop trying to protect women’s honor and teach their cats to control themselves so they aren’t hypnotized by swaying objects. His followers are obviously stupid beasts that can’t be trusted to walk past uncovered meat, especially if the uncovered meat is showing its meaty body and wearing makeup on its meaty face. Irresistable!! After this man’s followers learn to control their meat yearning, probably sometime in the next century, they could move on to ‘No Means No’
Here is a guy who shares the “Senior Muslim Cleric's” views :

Mmmmmm...Lamb Hijab

Seriously, uncovered meat is a problem, so be careful and take these precautions.

If An Embassy Closes In The Desert And No One Hears The Press Release...

2006-10-26T23:18:00.000-05:00

Aljazeera has denied that it is pursuing a "political agenda" against Tunisia, after Tunis closed its embassy in Doha to protest an alleged "hostile campaign" by the Qatar-based television...

The Tunisian foreign ministry released a statement on Wednesday accusing Aljazeera of ignoring “truth and objectivity every time that it deals with current affairs in Tunisia ... apparently waging a hostile campaign aimed at harming Tunisia".

Truth and objectivity are a few, of the many, cornerstones of our democracy. Obviously, our government was unable to ignore the unwarranted Al Jazeera attacks. With the closing of the Tunisian Embassy in Doha a powerful message has been sent. I hope the two parties can come to an amicable agreement very soon, but if they can not, perhaps President Bush could be called in to mediate and advise us. We should appeal to him the way the Khazak President did during the Borat episode, and issue a joint statement. Media consultants should be hired to improve our image and counter the negativity of Al Jazeera. People need to see the real Tunisia. We all need to speak up. Yezzi !!! Barsha!! Barsha!!

Careful It Is Jinn Season

2006-10-20T18:20:00.000-05:00

I am glad this "healer" is not my doctor.

Interviewer: When a jinn talks from within a patient's body, does it use the patient's voice or a different voice? It is always said that a man is possessed by a female jinn, and vice versa.

Munir 'Arab: Anything may happen. Sometimes the jinn talks in the voice of a man, and sometimes in the voice of a woman or a child. Sometimes it barks like a dog or brays like a donkey, God forbid. All these things do happen....

Interviewer: Sheik Munir, what did she suffer from? What were her symptoms?

Munir 'Arab: She was possessed by a jinn. The jinn used to send out small notes from inside her, on which it was written: "This girl will never marry." "This girl is destined to do abominable things." It wrote repulsive things, God forbid.

I never believed in Jinn until I was possessed by one and it passed me this note through my body.

Happy Eid

2006-10-20T00:37:00.000-05:00

The Eid El Fathr is around the corner, but I haven’t been celebrating it the way I used to when I was living in Tunisia. There, families and friends get together to share sweets and visit. It is such an exciting event for kids because they get to buy new clothes for the special day and receive presents.
Every year we would go out with my father ,dressed in our new clothes, to a toy store and he would buy us whatever presents we wanted. We would then walk around the town and go to countryside where my father would describe all the plants and animals.
I loved going out on that day. Everybody you see is (ususally) very happy, well groomed, well dressed, walking with pride. All the kids had small toys such as whistles, dolls, toy guns, and toy instruments.
The first thing I would do when I woke up on the Eid was look out my window.
I enjoyed seeing the happy people dressed up and walking around to the stores or their relatives’ houses.
One year after going out with my father, we accompained my aunt and went to her friend’s house. I was so happy with my new dress as I was walking and holding my aunt’s hand. The streets were very muddy from the rain the night before, and I was trying to be as careful with each step as I could. As we approached the friend’s house, I tripped on the uneven pavement and fell on my stomach. I got mud all over my pretty new dress. I was so disappointed and tried to share that with my aunt, but she was laughing her ass off.
Last year on the Eid I treated it just like any other day, but my husband had a surprise. He kept asking me to wear something nice and sit with him. I couldn’t understand why he was cooking so much and why he cared what I wore that day. He had to that point (almost) never surprised me.
I got bored so I started running on the treadmill. As I was working out , with sweaty clothes and hair, I heard a bunch of people coming through the front door. My husband had invited everyone to dinner and asked them to wear new clothes and bring desserts because he told them that is what the Eid is about. He also told them to come after dark because he thought that the Eid was a fast day, which it is not. So anyway, I was standing on the treadmill in sweaty clothes as my neice and nephew, brother and sister-in-law, plus a few friends who were dressed up, were looking at me holding sweets and desserts in their hands. I was really surprised and shocked, so I yelled at my husband for not letting me know so I could make myself more presentable. He laughed. We had a very nice dinner together after that.

My father loved to take black and white pictures of us. This is a picture he took of us one Eid. I still remember the dress, it was violet and pink. It was gorgeous. I don’t know about my brothers though, and our shoes.

Can I Get A Massage During Ramadan?

2006-10-19T11:34:00.000-05:00

Here is a new list of Google searches that brought people to my blog lately:

Making your husband face reality
Wanted a hard massage
Why do somalis look arab
How to make my husband think
How to talk dirty to your husband
Wife rights when husband is hiding stuff
Ok to talk during intercourse in islam
Asalah nasri private phone number
Friend made me wet
Husband angry at me all the time
What to say when someone says mabrouk
How to fuck your husband well

Here are some Ramadan searches:

Watching TV during ramadan is it a sin
Is it ok to cook during the day in ramadan
Can i get a massage during ramadan
Haircut during fasting + islam
Ramadan and toothpaste
Driving during fasting month
Can you party during ramadan
What to do when you think sexual thoughts during Ramadan
Are we allowed to say ramadhan mubarak
Can a muslim have intercourse with his wife at ramadan time
Can one get married duing ramadan
can you kiss during ramadan
Travelling in tunisia in ramadan
What you can and can't do in ramadan
What you can eat during ramadan
Does having sexual thoughts break the fast during ramadan?
Can I hug my wife during ramadan

Water Jug

2006-10-18T11:05:00.000-05:00

No, that container is not for watering the plants. My doctor gave that to me so I could provide him with a urine sample for my physical! I don't even know where to begin with this..literally. The people at the lab are going to think I have big problems when they see me carrying this in.

Extreme Clothing

2006-10-18T10:45:00.000-05:00

Tunisia Moves Against Headscarves

The Tunisian authorities have launched a campaign against the Islamic veil worn by some women to cover their hair.
Police are applying with renewed vigour a decree dating back to 1981 which prohibits women from wearing Islamic headscarves in public places.
In recent days, senior officials have hit out at what they describe as sectarian dress worn by people who use religion to hide political aims. Human rights groups describe the move as unconstitutional.
Police in Tunisia have been stopping women on the streets and asking them to remove their headscarves and sign pledges that they will not go back to wearing them.

So in Saudi Arabia women are forced to wear the veil, in Tunisia they are not allowed. Both places are equal, women aren't free to choose.
Wouldn't it be easier to fight extremism by having an open free society with equality and a good economy to provide jobs and futures, instead of politicizing cloth?

Sleeping Gracefully

2006-10-13T09:23:00.000-05:00

I move a lot in bed, sometimes violently. I have already kicked my husband in the stomach and knocked him out of bed. Scratching him is not uncommon. He couldn’t go to work in the beginning of the year for about 4 days because I poked his eye.
Last night, I was very hyper and woke about 3 am. I kept asking my husband who was trying to sleep if he was ok. I shoved him to make sure he was breathing. Then I started signing “ get out of my car” and laughed by myself for a while. I was telling stories about my childhood with my father, and at one point I turned to him to see if he was listening and scratched his back a few times. The only responses I got were,” Ouch” ,” Come on now”, “Is the cat in the bed?”.
Then I had a thought and asked my husband,

Moi,"Do you think I have grace?"

No response

Moi,"Hey, do you think I have grace?"

Still no response

Moi,"DO YOU THINK I HAVE GRACE?"

Husband,"Yes,baby, you just need to turn it on sometimes."

Grace: –noun, elegance or beauty of form, manner, motion, or action.

Condemned to Hell with Carmen

2006-10-11T18:43:00.000-05:00

Reading Carmen’s post about how she is ‘condemned to hell’ brought up a lot of memories for me. The difference between me and her, however, is that I don’t know much about anything. It is too confusing for me to dig through endless hadiths, koranic verses, fatwas, and statements from “religious experts’that I don’t trust.
I only know what I remember from Islamic class in high school, and I probably have forgotten most of those details too. I remember the basics like doing good deeds, fasting, giving to the poor, etc. We studied an endless amount of hadiths from various people who came after the Prophet, but we never covered most of the controversial subjects that are discussed today like the different punishments for each sin. They all fell into the ‘You’ll go to hell’ category. They didn’t say how we would get there. At home however, some family members were very graphic about the suffering you would be inflicted with once you got there. For instance, the eternal punishment for some sins would be walking on a bed of nails surrounded by fire. If you stepped off the nails you burned in the fire.Various parts of your body would be tormented depending on the sin; the eyes for wearing makeup, genitals for extra-marital sex, mouth for drinking alcohol. Of course we were told that any part of the body that was damaged would be regrowth so that the torment could be inflicted again and again, forever. I don’t know what the torment is for marrying an infidel, but I am sure some of my friends and family are concerned about it.
I was asked by a friend after my husband and I had dinner with her if she could ask me a sensitive question. I knew right then what her question was and just said,” I know what you are going to ask.”, then said “The answer is yes”. She was so eager to know if my husband had converted before marrying me but I didn’t have the energy to discuss it with her. I told her later the answer was really no.
I called my aunt the other day to wish her a happy Ramadan and told her that my husband fasted for a few days to see how it was and to experience what I had experienced in Tunisia. She got really excited and said ,” Wow that is great, maybe you will be able to convert him and you can go to heaven.”
She also mentioned later in the conversation that non-Muslims go to hell. I asked her if my mom, who she was really close to and had a great relationship with, is now in hell. She didn’t say anything, but I know that deep down she really thinks that she is and feels sorry for her. I wanted to tell her that it wouldn’t be hell to me if I ended up next to my mom.

15 Favorites

2006-10-10T19:22:00.000-05:00

I got tagged by Twosret to list my 15 favorite things.
Here they are as of 5 minutes ago:

Photoshop!

I have always loved this painting. It speaks for me. (I'm glad they found it)

I've been going crazy trying to clean the kitchen without a sponge lately. I finally bought these last week, and I have so much fun using them instead of trying to find towels and wasting napkins. My husband says this is his favorite this week, because everytime he has cooked lately and gone to wipe his hands I could hear him grumble to himself about the damn wet towels.

My husband wanted to make dinner the other night, and came up with this new appetizer. I was very hungry and that was not enough, but I loved it.

Van Gogh.

Veggies.

Swimming at the beach. Damn, I can't believe summer is over!

I enjoy reading my mother's letters and looking at her handwritting when I miss her and want to get close to her again.

Kittens, especially the homeless ones.

Trying to make the cat wear the hijab, and seeing the resistance.

Practical jokes when my coworkers go to lunch.

My favorite time of the day: night.

Old pictures. This one is of my grandmother's classroom.

The Carthage Music Festival held every year at the Roman amphitheater.

Early morning walks on empty streets in Prague.

Jump Off a Cliff

2006-10-10T17:31:00.000-05:00

This David Hasselhoff video makes me want to jump off a cliff to get away from him. Number 3 on the UK Pop Charts? And they say Americans are dumb!

Update: Damn song is stuck in my head. My husband came home from work and asked me what I was singing. He is afraid of me now.

On the Record with Leilouta

2006-10-05T23:07:00.000-05:00

Here is an article that quotes yours truly on the Tunisian blogshpere at Global Voices Online. I was emailed some questions by the article's author Sami. My responses are below. You can read the whole thing at GVO. It's official now, I'm on the record.

A lot of questions of ends and means are being asked at the moment on the Tunisian blogs and an unusual effort to find the answers to what it seems to be an existential question is being made. Even if it is certain that the atmosphere of fear is not helping the majority of bloggers raising their voice, a start of self-criticism is trying to patent fresh air to the debate that is taking place.

Commenting Affaire de microcosms [Fr] (a text that Houssein published following the article of Sameer Padania on Global Voices) Leilouta noted that few Tunisian bloggers deleted her from their blogroll [Fr] after she has posted a photoshopped picture of the Tunisian president Ben Ali. I asked her by mail if she can explain this action:

“Maybe they were part of Ben Ali’s family! Or they were addicted to my blog and just needed to go cold turkey to get on with their lives. Seriously, I think it’s understandable given the situation. Voicing opposing views or having fun with photoshop can cause ‘problems’ and it may not be worth the risk for everyone. I don’t think my pictures were risky but…not everyone reading has the same sense of humor I do.”

And what about blogging in Tunisia? Is it replacing journalism and print media? But if is not the case, what should the Tunisian bloggers do in order to become a credible alternative? On these questions she responded:

“From the blogs I am familiar with, and talking to my family and friends, I would have to say that they are not replacing our ‘journalism’ and print media at all. There are encouraging signs and talented bloggers out there however, too often people who voice a view different from the mainstream are hammered. Maybe it is our nature or culture to go along with everyone. For blogging to be a credible medium for change we need a gateway to discuss all viewpoints that is constructive and informative. It needs to build a reputation that is open-minded and fair, because we all know how important our reputations are to us.“

I also asked her about the journey towards democracy and freedom and if she thinks that blogging is a powerful medium to help the process of democratizing Tunisia. And she gives me this answer, not without her touch of humor:

“Hey, Tunisia is a democracy, we vote :) I think blogging is a great medium to help ‘improve’ our democracy. Democracy depends on an informed, literate, knowledgeable population. Personally I have learned so much about the world since I started blogging. I have heard the stories and opinions of regular people like myself that I never saw on US or Tunisian TV, or in any newspaper. As my husband says…These are Gutenberg times for us all.“

Bookends

2006-10-04T17:24:00.000-05:00

Ok they have defined the range of possibilities. Now hopefully they can settle on a realistic model who represents the 99% of the rest of us.

4046

2006-10-04T08:18:00.000-05:00

I came home from a meeting at work, and my husband asked me if I had made a salad for lunch.
I said,” yes, how did you know?”

Cat Nap

2006-10-03T00:02:00.000-05:00

My cat found my blog the other day. I guess he got bored with it and fell asleep. Maybe there isn’t enough cat posts for him.

Another Mall Experience

2006-10-02T07:35:00.000-05:00

Since I discovered those cheap massages at the mall. I have become obsessed with going to the mall to get one. It seems so easy, and convenient. No phone calls and no appointments. I decided I would stop by the mall now and then and get a 10 minute massage for $10, or 30 minutes for $25. It seems like a good deal compared to a salon which charges about $160 for an hour.
I planned on going Friday afternoon. I tried to convince my husband two days ahead of time to go with me. I was sure that he was going to refuse but I used all my charm and he finally agreed before going to sleep on Thursday night. I was surprised and shocked. I couldn’t believe that he agreed. I was so excited to go together and share the experience. He was not that thrilled but he wanted to please me.
We went to the mall on Friday around 6 p.m . I started laughing in the car telling him that he was going to thank me after the massage. I told him it was not that big of a deal, but inside me I was laughing trying to imagine his reaction while the little Asian man dug his elbow into his back. My husband doesn’t like hard massages, and doesn’t like anyone touching him. I think he became suspicious because I was laghing so hard while talking about how the message was going to change him.
We arrived at the mall, and walked towards Macy’s. As soon as he saw the massage chairs sitting outside in the middle of the mall floor, the masseuses waiting for customers, and people shopping he stopped and bailed,

Him, “No way I am not going to do this!”

Moi, “Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?”

Him, “NO, I am not going to sit in the middle of the mall getting a massage!!”

Moi very disappointed, “ but you promised, and we drove all the way here just to get one together.”

Him: “No, I don’t want to sit in the middle of the mall. I thought this whole thing was in a salon.”

Moi, “Don’t you listen to me when talk? I told you it was…”

Him: “ Well I didn’t get it and I am not going to do it . Seriously honey, go get yours and I ‘ll buy you a dress or something. No way.”

Moi, “I cant believe this, I was so excited and I wanted to share this with you.”

Him, “Yea, that is great. I will share other things with you, but getting a massage from an old man in the middle of a mall. I don’t think so!”

So I got a 10 minute massage by myself, which sucked this time because I had a different masseuse who thought I was too fragile or something, and didn’t massage hard enough. I hated every minute of it and just wanted to ask somebody else to do it.

I met up with my husband afterwards and he looked relieved and happy that he didn’t have to experience such a “ horrifying “ thing.

We went into Macy’s and picked out some clothes. We snuck into the same fitting room and had our own private fashion show. That was fun, and he bought me the clothes.

While looking around I passed by these horrible shoes, who buys this stuff?

YouTube is an American plot to harm Arabs!!!

2006-09-30T23:26:00.000-05:00

My favorite Ramadan show when I was growing up was "El Kemera El Kafia" (The Hidden Camera) similar to the American show Candid Camera. My friends and I would laugh about the gags the following day at school. I always wanted to be one of the actors in that show, and I would think of scenarios that I would do if I was on the show. In the spirit of that show I posted the ‘Friday Night Movies’ yesterday. BUT, because the subjects of the videos were Arab, the honor police came out to chasten me.

Arabia et fiere de l'etre,
"BRAVOOOO!!! aya win t7ib tousel??? shaweht souret el 3rab kif ma 7abbit??? ama 7ot fi belik elli t3rris be ameriki, takhou green card, tetle3shi lil gamra tou93id dima 3aaaarrrrrbia!!! Ash koun ya3rif belik yji nahar wel hubby meta3ik yetgheshish wetirlo minnik we y9ollik Damn You Arab Girl!!! (To be continued....)"

Translation :

Arabia and proud to be,
"Bravo , Where are you going with this? You keep putting down the Arab image.But keep in mind that you married an American, got the green card, you can go to the moon but you will always be an Arab. Who knows maybe one day your hubby of yours will get angry and get tired of you and tell you “ Damn You Arab Girl...to be continued."

To Arabia et fiere de l'etre,
I am not harming the Arab image, the fanatics who fly planes into buildings, blow up people, riot over cartoons and comments, issue asinine fatwas do that. Get rid of them and we can all laugh together. If it helps you, picture the guys in the videos wearing cowboy hats, how is that?

PS. I don’t need a green card. I am a citizen of the US and Tunisia.

Friday Night Movie

2006-09-29T23:07:00.000-05:00

Hubby's First Fast

2006-09-28T13:39:00.000-05:00

I decided to fast the first few days of Ramadan this year, because I wanted to bring back some nice memories of the old days, and also to build some discipline against going to the kitchen and getting snacks every half hour when I am working from home. It wasn't so much for religious reasons. As a recent commenter pointed out, I have already broken so many Islamic rules, especially by marrying an infidel, that there is no point to it anyway. I am apparently doomed. Oh well, at least I can try to save my waisteline.

My husband supported me and he decided to fast for a day or two and see how it is. He got really exicted about the huge dinner he thought I would be making for the first night of Ramadan.

He went to the store the night before to buy us something to eat before sunrise since we didn't have anything interesting in the kitchen. He came back with 2 snack bars and a Gatorade!! He said he couldn't find the energy bars he wanted and the Gatorade was so he could 'hydrate' .Did he think he was going to run a marathon?

He was so proud of his shopping that he had to show it to me as soon as he got home. He said we should set the alarm for 4 or 5, so we could get up and have this 'breakfast' before the fast started.I told him I wasn't going to wake up at 4 a.m to eat this piece of ****. I ate mine right away and he ate his bar before going to bed. I guess the 'energy' from the snack bars kept us awake. We didn't fall asleep until around 5 a.m.

His first day was very easy since we got out of bed at 2 p.m...
He kept asking me about what kind of dinner I was going to cook. He had very big expectations for his first Ramadan meal. I didn't feel like cooking anything that day. He made me so nervous about the dinner that I didn't even know what to cook until the hour before the fast ended. We went to the store together and bought a few things so I could make a few Tunisian dishes. Dinner was ready an hour late, but he was satisfied with the glass of water and some bread while we waited.

He asked me if I wanted him to go get some more snack bars for the following morning. I just walked away from him.

The following day he woke up at noon. He started clock watching within an hour. Every 15 minutes or so he gave me an update, 3 hours and 50 mn left.3 hours and 30 mn left. 3 hours and 15 mn left...

After a few hours of this I offered to cook him something so he would leave me alone. When dinner was almost ready he asked me if it would be bad to have a few beers that night. I just shook my head. He had a beer after dinner.

He stopped fasting the next day. He said it wouldn't look good for his business if he was in a bad mood and his stomach was growling all day, but he told me that he would do it on the weekends if I wanted him to. I can't wait for that girl at work to ask me what I am doing on the weekend.

I was so happy to have found this scholar advice. Now I have a reason to not cook for a whole month.

Question

Is it my duty to cook and serve food for my husband during Ramadan when he doesn't fast during the day? He takes medication that is not prescribed by the doctor, and I am sure he does not need to take it three times a day. He doesn't even pray. I am not happy about the situation, and repeated efforts to make him understand that he must pray do not yield any results. He says it's not haram not to pray. He uses this non-prescribed medication as an excuse not to fast. He doesn't make up for it in other ways, though he knows they exist.

Answer

You do not owe the duty of cooking for or serving food and drink to your husband who does not fast during the days of Ramadan, if he does so without having any valid reason of sickness, travel, or old age that would exempt him from fasting. Since we are not allowed to condone or aid and abet someone who is doing a sin, if you do serve food or drink to him [during the hours of fast], your actions are considered sinful.
It is common knowledge in Islam that skipping fasts without valid reason of sickness, travel or old age, etc. is considered a major sin. From the way you have described your husband, it does not seem that he has any valid excuses not to fast.
Your husband is guilty of a another major offence by not praying; even greater than all of these is his denial of his obligation to pray while still considering himself to be a Muslim. If a Muslim denies his obligation to pray or fast, etc., he automatically goes out of the fold of Islam by such denial. There is a general consensus of scholars in Islam on this issue.

If You Visit ...The Lamb Dies

2006-09-26T09:35:00.000-05:00

One reason you feel obliged to buy presents for family and friends when visiting Tunisia, besides the fact that it is a nice thing to do, is the generosity of the hosts. I feel guilty and embarrassed if I go to someone's house if I am not carrying anything with me. Most people go out of their way to make you feel so comfortable and pampered that it is almost embarrassing. Sometimes it is hard to leave the person's house because they are begging you to stay and not letting you go. Many times I have ended up spending the night at a friends house because I couldn't leave.

I have a friend in Sousse who cleans an apartment in her husband's building every time I visit even if I am not staying the night. She says she does it so I can have a quiet rest if I need it during the stay. She will fill the fridge with all kind of sodas, fruits, and her cooking. During overnight stays she brings breakfast when I wake up. My husband and I visited her last summer and spent one day and one night with her. We had to leave at 11 am, but she insisted that we stay for lunch. She wouldn't take no for an answer. As we were explaining to her that we had to leave she kept putting food out on the table. We finally came to a compromise. She packed up the meal in her dishes and gave them to us. We had a bunch of different containers to take with us in the car along with about 20 tabounas. It looked like we had gone to Safeway after we left her house.

My father's family is the same way. When my aunt learned that I was going to stop by her place while we were in the south she cleaned all the carpets, mattresses, ceilings etc and made me tons of different Tunisian spice mixes. She even called me occasionally to ask me what my favorites were so she could make me kilos of them to take with me to the US. We visited without calling her first. I didn't want her to make an extravagant amount of food for just my husband and I. I thought I was doing her a favor, but she got really upset. She kept blaming me for not telling her in advance when I was going to stop by. She sent her son to the store to buy groceries and spent the whole night in the kitchen.

On the same trip, my oldest aunt, who I consider my grandmother and who has heart problems, moved furniture and cleaned her son's house so we could stay in it if we wanted to. I didn't call them either before we stopped. It didn't work. My other aunt had tipped them off and they were ready with fresh breads, lamb, yogurt, soda, and bottled water so my husband wouldn't drink from the tap.

My aunt's husband worked in the gulf as a French teacher for a few years. When returning home for visits he would always spend the first night at our place before heading to his home town. My father bought a live lamb for each visit and killed it upon on his arrival to welcome him. My father also killed a lamb when I passed my last year of primary school. Thank God, I was in the south at my grandfathers house at the time.

I don't know what it is with killing lambs and grilling them for guests but the same thing almost happened last year when my husband went to Tunisia. My uncles told him that next time he visited they would take him to the desert , kill him a lamb, cook it over a fire, and sleep under the stars. My husband is really excited about that. I think I'll stay at my aunt's house. They also told him to stay for a whole month on his next visit, and at the end of it he would know Arabic. He asked how. They said that there is nothing to do in the middle of the desert so they would teach him Arabic while they sat around.

Oven On Board

2006-09-24T23:11:00.000-05:00

I get very excited before my trips to Tunisia, and everything would be just perfect if it was not for all the presents that I have to worry about . I love surprising people with presents and all, but people back home expect you to bring a lot in quality and quantity which drives me nuts. It is too much pressure. I have no idea what to get for people.I have 4 aunts. Three of them have at least three kids. Some of those kids have kids of their own. I have two uncles. The first one has 5 kids, and on and on.The list I make for the presents I need to buy gets very big, very fast.
Last year, I started thinking and shopping 6 months before my trip. One day I came out of a bath shop with four bags of lotion and soap because of a sale. My husband asked me if I thought they were going to stop making them in the future. I went down the list of people that the lotion and soap were for and he came up with the brilliant idea of just buying presents once we arrived in Tunisia. I said I wanted to bring stuff from America to my family, and they would expect that. He was amused at my efforts and frustration, until I used most of his luggage space for presents. It would not have been such a problem for me if my choices were not limited by the weight and the airline rules. When we finally left for our trip we had to shift presents from one bag to the another, at the counter, because the suitcase was overwieght. My husband lost most of his enthusiasm for our present giving tradition right then and there.
Yesterday, I called my aunt again and we chatted about my cousin who was visiting from Italy. She started counting the things that she had brought with her to her family.
This is the conversation I had with her;

Aunt , " She also brought him a wheelchair."

Moi, " A wheelchair? Are you serious? How can you travel with a wheelchair in your luggage?"

Aunt, " You can. People do it all the time. She also brought an oven ,and a TV for her mom. Last year she came with a sofa."

Moi, " Yea right! whatever."

Aunt, " Yes, wallahi bil7k."

Moi , " No way!! Come on now. You 're messing with me."

Aunt, " Leila I swear, everybody does it. All the people who live abroad buy those kind of things."

Moi , " How do they travel with all that?"

Aunt , " In their cars."

Moi , " Oh ok, you're talking about people who travel by boat.."

Aunt , " Yes, yes."

Moi , " Ok, now it makes a little sense but still,an oven? Can't you buy an oven in Tunisia? Is the price difference that huge that you have to carry a whole oven and a TV set in your car all the way from Italy?"

I tried to picture my cousin, her husband and their children driving all the way from Italy with an oven, a TV set, and all kinds of other goods that I've seen before like clothes, sweets, dishes, and mattresses.

I couldn't wait to end my conversation with my aunt, so I could tell my husband that my cousin brought an oven from Italy. How they rode the ferry and drove all the way to southern Tunisia carrying all those presents. That was the highlight of my day, and I thought it was so nice, even if picturing it in my head made me laugh.
Then I started feeling bad. People bringing ovens and TVs, and all I brought was lotion, soap, clothes, candies,and some watches. They probably thought I was cheap. I told my husband that I didn't think I brought enough presents last year. He looked at me like I had gone insane. He said, "We'll bring a washing machine next time."

Fulla Wanted In Tunisia

2006-09-24T23:08:00.000-05:00

Hijab-Clad Fulla 'Wanted' in Tunisia

TUNIS — No sooner had as the new academic year begun in Tunisia than security forces raided soft-toy shops across the country to withdraw Fulla, the doll, which inspired millions of Muslim girls worldwide, eclipsing the American and world's best-selling Barbie.

"Security forces have cracked down on shops and confiscated all goods bearing Fulla's photo," Tunisian shoppers and merchants told IslamOnline.net Friday, September 22, on condition of anonymity.

The raids have caused fear in the Abu Ken community. "They are in political limbo", a source said.

Ready, Set, Ramadan...

2006-09-22T13:06:00.000-05:00

Husband," Ok , so are you going to wake up early to make some food?"

Moi," What? You want me to wake up at 4 and make you food? Just eat before you go to bed.Don't be too whiny about it, come on it is all about resilience, show some."

Husband," No seriously I need to eat otherwise I will not be able to stand by noon."

Moi," OK OK we'll see."

Husband,"So I can't even drink water?"

Moi," No "

Husband,"Ok..no workout then..it will just make me thirsty. What else?"

Moi," Nothing, not even toothpaste, oh and ...you know that you can't drink beer at night after you fast, right?"

Husband," Whaaaaaaat?Why not?"

Moi," OMG!! Are you kidding me? What is wrong with you? Forget the whole thing, don't even bother."

Husband," Ok Ok, so when does this actually start?"

Moi," Ok don't get me going with this. We only find out the night before."

Husband,"How?"

Moi,"The Saudis look for the new moon. Then it starts."

Husband, "What if its cloudy?"

Moi, "Stop it. With all the satellites and technology we shouldn't need the Saudis to tell us anymore."

Husband, "What's wrong with that. It's old school, but it sounds fun. Like the start of a race or something."

Moi," Yea its real fun, for the men. You have no idea what the women go through...they have to find out as soon as possible so they can make their shopping, cooking, cleaning plans for that big day. Its a mess. Just like here in DC when they announce that its going to snow. Everyone rushing around last minute, getting crazy, but it is very easy for the guys to just take naps and watch TV, and wait for the Saudis to announce the start of Ramadan.

Getting Ready For Nasrallahpalooza

2006-09-22T08:19:00.000-05:00

As part of their rebuilding plan, Hezbullah is handing out free chairs, first come first serve, this afternoon. "Our people are tired of sitting on the ground at home", a spokesman said.

Why wait in line when you can just eat a cockroach?

2006-09-21T14:15:00.000-05:00

GURNEE, Illinois (AP) -- Why wait in line when you can just eat a cockroach?
That's the question Six Flags Great America is asking thrill seekers during a Halloween-themed FrightFest. The amusement park is daring customers to eat a live Madagascar hissing cockroach in exchange for unlimited line-jumping privileges.

How about we apply that rule for all lines in Tunisia, but instead we should feed a roach to each person who isn't in the line. I bet we wouldn't have any more of our nasty flying roaches in a week.

Happy Ramadan

2006-09-21T00:14:00.000-05:00

I started fasting during Ramadan at 12 years old. It was such a good experience for me. During my first Ramadan when I was at school, my friend and I had a calendar where we marked all the hours of the day. Every time an hour passed we would cross it off and count how many hours we had left until the iftar (breaking of the fast). We would talk about what we were going to eat for dinner and what we were going to watch on TV. That experience taught me (some) patience and restraint. It also taught me what hunger meant since I was lucky enough to never miss a meal or a snack for that matter. My parents were really proud of me at the time because I was so committed and serious about completing the fast, since everybody else in the house wasn’t doing it. My brothers were younger than me, my mom was not Muslim, and I can’t remember what my father’s issue was. I used to love to watch all the new shows that played after the iftar during Ramadan.(elfawazir, candid camera…) We were very spoiled that month with new TV shows from Tunisia and all over the Arab word, especially Egypt. One of my favorite shows at the time was Raafet El Hejen, a ‘true’ story about an Arab guy who falls for a female Israeli spy. Around 10 p.m the city came alive, all the stores and shops reopened and everyone went out to visit with each other. It was so much fun.
It is funny how things have changed. My brothers and father fast now, and I don’t anymore or at least not too seriously.

During religious classes we were taught that the wisdom behind fasting during Ramadan was to develop self-restraint and patience, feel the misery of the poor, and appreciate God’s gifts. It is a time of reflection and building empathy for others less fortunate.

Ours schools were only open for a half day during Ramadan and most jobs were a half day also. Many vacations are taken during Ramadan. This allows some to develop their patience and restraint by sleeping all day until sunset when they get up and eat the huge amounts of food and sweets that are prepared. These dinners are like the American Thanksgiving dinner – every night for a month. Many people spend beyond their means during this month also, so they can celebrate each night. In a way they are poor for the whole year and live it up for one month.

If you travel to an Arab country, be careful driving during Ramadan. All the self-sacrifice, and lack of cigarettes, makes for some angry drivers on the road. Every form of withdrawal is on display during the day.

At the end of Ramadan is the Eid. It’s a day to reward the children with new clothes and toys. My mother fasted during her first year in Tunisia while she was pregnant with me. She asked why the children who didn’t fast during the month were the ones to be rewarded on the Eid. She got a really funny answer from her friend who said that they were rewarded because they had to put up with their parents bad mood for a month.

The only real annoying thing for me during Ramadan were the people who drank all year, slept around, swore, and were generally as unmuslim as you can get, who become instant saints during Ramadan. They get very pious and criticize girls with makeup or others who are not as ‘strict’ as they are. They are usually in such a bad mood from their withdrawal that they make all around them miserable.

My husband wants to follow my mom’s footsteps and try to fast for a few days. I explained to him the rules; I told him that he can’t drink water, eat food, have any sexual thoughts, smoke cigarettes, swear, lie, steal….from sunrise to sunset for a whole month….He said,” I can’t hold you during the day?”

SM Party

2006-09-19T11:17:00.000-05:00

We had a little party at my house in honor of the Sand Monkey during his recent stay. When my Japanese sister-in-law met him and I told her that he was Egyptian. Her first reaction was,"Oh he doesn't look like an Egyptian", so I asked her what she expected an Egyptian man to look like. She said she expected him to be wearing traditional Egyptian clothes. I joked that he came to the US on a camel. Then she started talking about camels and the Monkey explained to her that the only camels in Egypt were for the tourists.
After that discussion I went to the kitchen to make an apple martini for SM. All of sudden I heard him yelling from the end of the room,"LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEILA". I didn't pay attention to it thinking he was just trying to be funny. Then he added ," Your hair is on fire!!"
I had passed by a candle, and it caught my hair on fire.
He came running to put the fire out, and he did so very quickly. My hair was not damaged and I can thankfully still keep it long.
My husband who is very familiar with my craziness wasn't even concerned. The only thing he said was, "Yuk, the kitchen stinks like burnt hair." Now I have two posts about burning my hair on this blog and a blogger witness that there is no exaggeration when I describe these incidents.

What Was Life Like Before YouTube

2006-09-18T17:28:00.000-05:00

Forget belly dancing, here comes booty dancing!

I have no idea what this is about...

How Many Ansaris Are Out There?

2006-09-18T11:45:00.000-05:00

First Female Space Tourist Blasts Off

Ansari said she expected seeing Earth from space would alter her view of the planet.
"You'll see how small and how fragile the Earth is compared to the rest of the universe," she said. "It will give us a better sense of responsibility."
Earlier she said she was eager to see Iran from space - she hasn't been back since emigrating to the United States - and hopes to inspire girls in her homeland to study science.
Ansari and her family left Iran a few years after the Islamic revolution, in part because the opportunities for a young girl to study science were becoming limited there.
Speaking no English when she arrived as a teenager with her family in Virginia, she went on to earn bachelor's and master's degrees in engineering within a few years.
She and her husband married in 1991 and later moved to Texas to start a company that made signal-switching software for phone networks.
In 2000, at the height of the telecommunications boom, they sold their suburban Dallas company to Massachusetts-based Sonus Networks Inc. for $550 million in Sonus stock.

Makes you wonder how many Ansaris might still be in Iran or Saudi Arabia or Pakistan or Sudan....

Recipe For Muslim Anger

2006-09-17T17:58:00.000-05:00

Recipe for Muslim Anger:
Take non-Muslim comment containing the word Mohammed.
Knead in distortion and lies.
Sprinkle with righteous indignation.
Let rise for a day or two.
Add demands for apology.
Set aside.
Reject explanations.
Bake.
Distribute to hungry mouths.

This delicious dish will give the eater the strength and courage to burn flags, destroy property, and kill 70 year old women who spend their life in the service of God.

Sweet And Sour Chicken

2006-09-14T23:14:00.000-05:00

I usually try to eat healthy. I love vegetables, and I try to not buy anything that has more than 5 ingredients. I also don't buy a product if I can't pronounce one of the ingredients.
I violate my rules sometimes when I get a bad craving for bad food, or when I get stuck somewhere like I was the other day. There was nothing around me but this machine, and the picture on the box looked ok.
Here is the result after I heated it.

Hijabi Talk

2006-09-13T13:48:00.000-05:00

Bush and Nursultan Nazarbayev to discuss important state matters

2006-09-13T12:47:00.000-05:00

US President George Bush is to host White House talks on British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen. Cohen, 35, creator of Ali G, has infuriated the Kazakhstan government with his portrayal of Borat, a bumbling Kazakh TV presenter.
And now a movie of Borat's adventures in the US has caused a diplomatic incident...

Do you think Bush and the Kazakhstan president will discuss Suri Cruise also?